You’ve only been dating for four months, so you’re still getting to know each other. The death of his childhood friend is a big deal, and it may affect him differently at different times. It sounds like you’ve offered to be there if he needs to talk, and there’s not a whole lot else you can do except to be sympathetic and understanding of the situation. Overall, it sounds like you’re trying to rush the relationship you’re in with him, and you can’t do that — because it won’t work. Try to relax into the fact that it’s only been four months of dating so far and you have to let the relationship find it’s own way. Typically, I suggest that you wait until six months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous because that gives you time to really get to know each other. It sounds like in the four months you’ve been dating, you’ve seen some events and behaviors from him that inform your relationship. The way he handles the death of a friend, a relationship with an ex and a job crisis are all very important pieces of information for you to use to decide if this is someone you’re compatible with for a long-term relationship. Stay the course, relax and be there, but don’t try and force things. 😉
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