[Nicoleamie]

My boyfriend is always looking at other girls on Instagram , he has a lot of girl friends that he texts and he randomly gets sent nudes from girls he use to date which he says that he can’t control what they send him and today he is going out with his friend and his friend is bringing a group of girls along with him I and he tells me I’m good and I have nothing to worry about all of this but girls these days are very tempting and very bold with the whole sex aspect plus we’re really not on good terms right at this moment and I am just nervous he Is going to do something I don’t know what to do ?

[April Masini]

Fill me in a little more. How long have you and your boyfriend been dating? How old are you both? And what’s going on in your relation that makes you say that you’re not on good terms with him? How long has that been going on? Also, is this behavior with other women been going on since you’ve been with him — or is it something new?

[Nicoleamie]

We’ve been dating for almost 4 months now. I’m 18 and he is 22. We’re not on good terms because he is tired of me nagging and fussing over texting his girl-friends , he is honest about who they are and tells me what they text but I feel like I’ve lost my power and I feel like I’m going a little on the crazy side because my insecurities have taken control and it’s been going on for 2 months now and he has threatened to leave if I keep it up because he said he is tired of the drama and negative energy. The keeping in contact with his friends has always been throughout our relationship and before but not the pictures from other girls, that’s new I have asked him about it and he said that he can’t control what girls send him.

[Nicoleamie]

He’s tried to end it for like three time because of that reason and he’s blocked me before because he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. And the other day he said he’s only messing with me because he feels sorry for me because every time he tries to end it I start crying but then he still does all the things he did before he ended it so it’s like how do you feel sorry for me but still act normal like he did before. I just feel like our relationship is going down hill but I don’t know how to fix it. ?

[April Masini]

Got it — thanks for filling me in. That helps a lot. 😉

Since you’ve only been dating for four months, this is a new relationship and you’re still in the getting to know you phase. And what you’re getting to know is that he’s interested in being around other women and having the attention of other women. He isn’t acting like someone who’s in a committed relationship and that’s good information for you. Instead of getting upset about it, take a step back and breathe. You’re trying to make him someone he’s not, and he’s reacting negatively to that and threatening to break up with you. He doesn’t want to be tied down, and if you’re along for the ride he’s on, he’s fine to continue dating you. But if you make a lot of noise about his life, he’s out. I think you should really pay attention to this and decide if you want to stay in this relationship or not. You may have jumped the gun and decided this is a relationship too soon — instead of realizing that the first three months of dating anyone are to decide if you want to continue dating him and if you do, the second three months are for deciding if you want to be monogamous. I think that under the circumstances, this isn’t a peaceful or secure situation for you. You’re anxious and you’re trying to change him because you don’t like the way the relationship is going. Maybe this isn’t the right guy or the right relationship for you. It’s your choice, but if you stay, you have to a) accept that he likes female attention and b) decide how you can give him the attention he’s getting elsewhere, so he doesn’t want it outside the relationship. If he’s just not ready for monogamy or a relationship, that’s a good fact for you to know, too.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any more questions.

[Nicoleamie]

Okay so me and my boyfriend are going through a really rough patch and he’s been more moody and irritable lately , I looked up reason and I’m trying not to assume the reason but I can only can think it’s because he’s unhappy with me. He tells me sometimes that I kill his mood because I’m constantly nagging about something. I’m trying to figure out ways to bring back the happiness. Also I’m trying figure out how to bring the spark back. Also I’m trying to get him to chase me and pursue me more than he does! I don’t how ?! And he is 22 and I’m 18 and we’ve been dating for 6 months now. I’m just trying to get back on track and basically lighten up and refresh our relationship so it’s exciting again.

[April Masini]

I’m sorry that you’re still having some of the same problems you were two months ago. 😕 It sounds like he was upset about the issue of nagging two months ago when you wrote, and that remains a problem. 😳 It’s very hard to have a spark in a relationship when there’s nagging going on, since it’s not very sexy — and yet, I understand how you may feel reluctant to really want to give it your all when you were so upset that he’s had women sending him nude images and he follows pretty girls on Instagram, and he’s going out with his friends and groups of women without you. 😳

In general, the best way to get a guy to chase you, is to back off and not nag, but instead, give him something to chase after. 😎 Flirt with him. Be a little less available than normal. And basically be the woman you were when he first became interested in you. 😉

I hope that helps.

[Nicoleamie]

Yes that does ! And how do I deal with him being moody ? One day he is so nice and sweet but the next he is just so distant and moody ?

[April Masini]

You have to find a way to be patient. I know it’s difficult, but if he’s normally moody, then you have to understand that is who he is and you can either separate while he’s in a mood or decide that it’s not personal and it will pass. A sense of humor will also help. Basically, you have to take the high road and not let his moodiness trigger 😉 moodiness in you, too!

[Nicoleamie]

Thank you ! and A few more questions
1. how do I get him to miss me and want to always spend time with me no matter what ?
2. How do I get him to start being emotion attached and more open ?

[April Masini]

In general, guys want women they feel are prizes. They like to chase, conquer and win them over! 😀 They want to show them off and feel that they really got the first place winner in a woman. So, letting the guy chase you — and giving him something to chase — is a great way to start a relationship off on the right foot. 😉 When men feel that they’ve got someone they can trust, respect and value, they’ll open up and want intimacy — beyond sex. Knowing this, you can work backwards and become the woman who gets the guy. I hope that helps. 😉

[Author]

Posts