The entire thing was not a lie — not at all. This requires a deeper understanding of what friends with benefits really is. When people tag relationships as friend with benefits, they’re not friends. Friends don’t have sex with each other. They just have sexual relations without a commitment. There are all kinds of reasons that people get into these relationships, but the bottom line you have to remember is that when you have sex, you’re not friends. I think that that worked for you, but when you agreed to change the relationship to a committed, monogamous one, I think you skipped a lot of steps because you assumed the sex meant more than it did. The reality is that moving in with someone is a big deal! And going from FWB to monogamy is very tricky and usually doesn’t work. When he realized that, he wanted to go back to what did work in the past, but you’ve decided not to. And that’s fine — but you have to understand that he’s not ready for a committed, monogamous relationship where there’s more than just sex. He’s realized that, and you’re disappointed in the fact that the monogamy didn’t work out. And you’re blaming him. 🙁 The entire thing was not a lie. It was a process, and there’s a lot to learn from what happened, if you choose to. 🙂
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