If you’ve read my columns or my book, Think & Date Like A Man, you already know what I am going to tell you. If you haven’t read my book — you need to!
What you have done is you’ve made this guy “the prize” and you’ve been trying to “catch” him. To win with men, it must be the other way around. He must see you as the prize. You must be someone he wants to “win” and that he must work at winning. Equally, there shouldn’t be any “settlement” (Are you kidding me?) and you should not be negotiating or trying to convince him to stop seeing other people… HE should be trying to convince you to date him exclusively. End of chapter.
As far as playing games goes… you shouldn’t be playing hard to get — you should BE hard to get. It is human nature not to want something that’s too easy. It is precieved as lacking value.
Stop talking about “your relationship” with this guy and start taking action. How? Stop trying to prove you’re “girlfriend material”. Start being unavailable. Stop pursuing him. Seriously date other men. Unless and until a man asks you for an exclusive relationship or a commitment, and stops seeing other women — there isn’t one. Period. If this guy was convinced you were “girlfriend material”, you’d be his girlfriend. You’re not.
I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but you need to wake up!
It is your job to take care of you. If you want an exclusive relationship you need to keep dating different men until you find the one who feels the same way you do, and then, importantly, demonstrates it by his actions.
Bottomline: Time is your most valuable commidity and something you can never get any more of. Stop wasting yours on him. He knows you want an exclusive relationship and he’s told you he doesn’t want one. He told you that he wants to date other people — more, he doesn’t care if you do the same. What else do you need to know?
Move on!
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