[Eleanor]

I used to visit his blog a few years back,he had a girl friend and i had a boy friend back then. their relationship looks beautiful and makes everyone jealous. about few months ago i just run into him on this online social network site and figured he’s single now, and he’s been single for the past almost two years. I know i always wanted someone just like him, he’s intuitive, sentimental,fun and very good looking. we’re both into same kinds of music, artists, bands and etc. so i started to follow him,he has so many funs and didnt follow me back, but he started showing interests at things that i’m interested in day by day. (i’m sure about this).he also posted a song that saying he needed someone to let him know that he could loose up and bring a new world to him,and he knew “I” need someone to show me the world too. it was beautiful. so about a week ago he finally seemed came out of his shell to ask me out, but i gave him the wrong singles that he stop being online and deleted that song! (he’s been going on the site everyday for the past 3 weeks) i really didnt mean to do him anything or mass with him, i was out of my mind, i only cared so much about him that i freaked out.and i’m really shy when it comes to serious relationship, i feel like i cant even look at him when i see him! it’s not even i like him, i’m in love with him head over heels, and now he’ll never know!
i’ve been having a really rough week since and i miss him immensely. but i know you’d say i’m crazy because the ironic part is we haven’t even actually meet! is there anything i could do to let him know how i feel? i cannot message him on that site because he set it to private. and i can find his work email and phone# but i just don’t think that’s appropriate. i don’t wanna offend him of course.

please help!

[April Masini]

I’m a little confused by your post, so can you please fill me in, and then I’ll give you my advice? 🙂 First of all, how old are the two of you? [quote] so about a week ago he finally seemed came out of his shell to ask me out, but i gave him the wrong singles that he stop being online and deleted that song![/quote]
And when he asked you out on a date, what did you do that made the date not happen? You said you gave him the wrong signals — what exactly did you do? And how did the date not happen? Did he cancel it? Not show up?

[Eleanor]

Hi April, thanks so much for replying!
I’m 30 and his 32. he did not ask me out, he was going to (I’m sure of that),but i deleted some interests posts that we had in common, i did it for no reason,i was just really nervous and freaking out, it was stupid of me. he also deleted the song he posted and did not show up that site since.

[April Masini]

It sounds like your problem isn’t an accident. 😉 Something about his being [i]about[/i] to ask you out made you nervous and triggered you to change your behavior. And your change in behavior made him retreat. 😳 The real problem here is this behavior you have that is fearful of something — dating? relationships? Time to confront this problem and fix it. 🙂

I’m also getting the feeling from your post that this man is someone you’ve never met in real life. And since you don’t know his phone number or work e-mail, I take it the two of you don’t know each other enough to have exchanged this information. Therefore, it’s really inappropriate for you to contact him at this point.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

And please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url].

[Eleanor]

Thanks so much April, you’re right, as i mentioned we havent meet in person, but i’ve been reading his blog. i do know what am i doing. and i am afraid because i’m very shy and care about him so much!

i actually sent new notes just saying that i think i didnt something stupid and screwed up, i’m really regret and do not want this to happen again. a few hours later he did show up, he replied to his friend’s and acting normal. but he didnt make any moves either.

so my question now is: what should i do to make him understand how i feel,i’ll make it real eazy for him,i’m here wait for him, and so that he can make some moves to get me!

thanks so much again, i really appreciate it!

[Eleanor]

and how do i fix it,please April?!
the new year is coming, how could i not want to count down with him?!?! 😥

[April Masini]

First of all, as much as I would like one, I don’t have a fully functioning magic wand! 😆 And…. when you make mistakes, there’s a price to be paid. Which you’re doing now. The idea is that dating is a process, and you need to learn to date smart! 😉

What I can advise you to do is to be conscious of separating your feelings from your behavior. Just because you feel shy or you feel like freaking out doesn’t mean you have to act on those feelings. This requires discipline and higher consciousness. So if you feel like freaking out, don’t. You can still FEEL like freaking out, but don’t ACT like a freak out.

I also recommend you read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], a book I wrote for women who want to get the guy — so they can learn how to do it. 😀 This book is going to help you understand the dynamics between men and women and why you shouldn’t be doing damage control with a guy you have never met in person let alone dated. 😳 You have to become mysterious and alluring to him — enough so that he wants to take you out. This means dropping the freak out behavior and dropping the damage control behavior.

I know this is hard work — a lot harder to do than to just read, but I think you can do it. Read the book!

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url]. 🙂

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