what do you think about this? please help me out! :-)

[beachxgirl718]

so me and this guy always talk about hooking up, but we never have. recently I told him that I don’t just wanna f***, I wanna hang out. he told me that was fine and I said “really?” and he said “yeah its gonna be hard for me cause your sexy but ill control myself the first few times lol” so I said “lol thanks I appreciate it, I’m just not like that you know.” and he said “i honestly wasn’t expecting anything like that at first, maybe just hookup.” but then the other night I was drunk and asked if he wanted to meet up and told him id give him a blow job. we met up and we started hooking up, and he was like “I’m so hard, will you give me head?” and I said “no.” well he was being an ass then and was pissed off. so the next day I apologized and I asked if he would give me another chance and he said “im good, stop texting me its annoying.” and then he told me “u lost your chance, I don’t wanna hang out anymore what don’t you get” and then I asked “is it because you’re not attracted to me, or is it because I wasted your time?” and he hasn’t answered, and he’s been ignoring me. so i waited a week and asked him if he wanted to hang out thurs night and he said “no” so i said “why not” and he said “i dont wanna hookup with you” and i said “oh, why not?” he said “i just dont” so i said “well if you dont wanna hookup with me anymore bc i messed up id feel better, but u make me feel like u never wanted to hookup” and he said “idk” so i said “will u give me a chance in the future” and he said “we’ll see” so i said “can you at least tell me if youre attracted to me or not” and he didnt answer. meanwhile he’s told me before that he wouldn’t be talking to me if i wasn’t hott. so yesterday we had a text convo that went like this:

6:36pm
are you just gonna keep ignoring me?
?
?6:39pm
leave me alone lol
?
6:39pm
lol you suck
?
6:39pm
suck me
?
6:40pm
yeahh right you don’t want it
?
6:41pm
i think I do
if its good il prob hit you up to f***
?
6:43pm
so then you should hit me up
?
6:43pm
u think so?

?6:50pm
yes
i do think so
ive been trying
you never hit me up anymore, so you should
?
6:52pm
il hit you up tn if you promise to make up for lasttime and video chat with me now
my cocks out
?
6:54pm
i will make up for last time
im not video chatting. I hate it
?
6:54pm
no deal
?
6:55pm
fine
?
6:56pm
c ya
?
6:56pm
byeee
?
6:57pm
dnt message me anymore
?
6:57pm
okay
?
6:58pm
n remove me as a friend
?
6:58pm
? you’re being stupid. I’m not gonna hit you up anymore. I get that you don’t wanna hookup
?
6:59pm
i wuda tn
?
6:59pm
well so would i, but you don’t wanna unless I video chat
so forget it
im done trying
?
6:59pm
good
?
6:59pm
ok
?
7:00pm
ur mistake
?
7:00pm
no its yours
?
7:00pm
mine?
?
7:00pm
yes
?
7:00pm
ul never get a d*** like this
ever
?
7:01pm
i believe you
listen I was willing to do whatever, but you are not willing unless I video chat
so basically I wanna hookup, you dont. so its fine. no worries
?
7:02pm
ur afriad to video chat
wen I said my cocks out
?
7:02pm
it just doesn’t make me feel comfortable
?
7:02pm
u wudnt touch it last time
so I think your afriad of it
all good
bye
?
7:03pm
lol I’m not afraid of your d***
i just don’t like video chatting, and last time I was drunk and stupid. I wouldn’t keep hitting you up if I was afraid of your d***
?
7:04pm
well you made a mistake last time your making another
ur not getting a 3rd chance bye
?
7:04pm
okay that’s fine

can you please answer all of these? did he ever wanna hookup with me? do you think that he just didn’t think I was hott and hes not attracted to me? why didnt he answer me when i asked if he was attracted to me? do you think he doesnt wanna hookup anymore because he doesnt think im hott or because he thinks im a “waste of time”

[Anonymous]

um, i think it’s quite obvious what he wanted from you. sex. and when you wouldn’t give it up but offered a bj and then said no to that he hit the road.
don’t pursue him and quit texting him and asking him if he finds you attractive or not. thats not the issue. the issue is with you having some self respect and not wasting your time with some loser that only wanted to take you to bed (or the back seat).
what you look like has nothing to do with his interest in you. when you were flirting with each other you thought he was interested in something more than a physical relationship (which, unfortunately, a lot of women do because we are, by nature, very emotional beings), when a sexual relationship was the only thing he wanted.
i am sure you are a very pretty, albeit naive, girl. you deserve so much better. there are guys out there that will treat you like gold. don’t waste your time on this person that treats you like dirt.
good luck to you.

[kai]

I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

[b]This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions. [/b]

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum

[Manwhore]

You’re just looking for validation girl. Your little female ego got razed over the coals and you want him to answer if he was ever attracted to you or not so you can “feel better”. The issue here is the fact your ego is so sensitive in the first place. This is a lifetrap, e.g. you will continue to have this issue over and over again with dudes if you don’t become conscious of this and stop this life/mental pattern. I think you also were probably playing games from the beginning as you lured him over with the promise of a blowjob, and then didn’t follow thru. His response is normal to your game-playing. Except he managed to turn it back around on YOU and now you want your validation back.

[April Masini]

Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

[Author]

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