[relationshipa1]

I’v e been with this guy for almost a year now,were expecting.He seemed really caring and madly in love with me til around the time I got pregnant.Lately,when he’s home all he wants to do is be on the computer playing games.I dont know I just feel like alot have changed from him wanting to get married right away to him not saying anything on it anymore.What do you think,should I be worried I just have a feeling he is wanting to be with someone eles I can talk to him about small thing and it will tick him off and he doesnt want to talk about it.It could be me asking anything anything!.

1.Anger
2.Fustration
3.Deleting internet history
4.Getting underneath the covers while he uses his phone/internet
etcs

[Anonymous]

I’m no expert but It doesn’t sound good. However, he could just be stressed out about something you’re unaware of or that he’s afraid to talk about. When anyone is expecting there’s always those surprising doubts: Am I ready?, Do we have enough money?, Can I be a good Dad?, Etc. He might be scared. Whatever his reasons are he definitely needs to talk with you when you ask him what’s going on. As you know, communication is key. I would gently try to talk with him, explain that communication is a must have and be willing and ready to listen. If he shuts you down you may want to consider couseling or worst case re-think things. In my experience, sometimes once we get something we really want we start to feel too comfortable and stop trying our best. I hope everything works out for you, him and your baby. Good luck!

[April Masini]

You’re right to be worried. Your boyfriend is feeling trapped by the pregnancy and is retreating. 😕

Unfortunately, he has to work through his own issues about his becoming a father and his now life long relationship with you. While he may have been gung ho about getting married before you got pregnant, he never proposed, so it may have been more talk than walk. Now that you’re pregnant, and you’re going to be parents, he’s probably feeling put on the spot, to say the least. All you can do is be there, be supportive, and try and coax him out of his retreat — but it may not work. Try not to blame him or make him feel defensive. Instead, muster up as much understanding and patience as you can.

At the same time you’re trying to be supportive of his emotional crisis, you need to be nurturing of yourself as a new mother. If he’s not going to be there for you, you have to find a support system that includes family and friends so that your pregnancy is a healthy one, and that you weather this relationship problem as best you can.

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