- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 9 months ago by
April Masini.
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November 16, 2009 at 8:48 am #1608
relationshipa1
Keymasterso this girl is kinda shy, i have strong belief she likes me cuz she responds to my text with lots of “;)” and other smiley faces and “:P” and flirty comebacks….she studies with me when i ask her to and she go out for lunch with me. but i can tell shes one of those girls who are not very good at expressing themselves or feel very awkward to do so.
so obviously i have to do all the work here..but im not really sure what she wants exactly..
so i was wondering how i can bring up the fact of us being in a relationship possibly without scaring her off or making it seem weird?
or should i just continue to just to hang out with her and let it flow into one naturally?
i dont know which one i should proceed. because i dont know if she wants me to ask her and if i dont ask her she will think that im to big of a pussy to ask. and i dont want to ask and it will be too soon and it may scare her off or weird her out. im not sure how i should approach this.
p.s. she only hangs out when i ask her to… she never asks me to. she rarely texts me first unless she has something to say that relates to something that happened between us at an earlier time. i usually have to text her first then we could text for long times unless i am busy..
also i just wanted to say that we have known each other for about 2yrs or so and that we started talking for a couple weeks becuz right now i am trying to pursue her because i feel that i like her.
i am pretty good at reading people and i think she likes me from looking at her eyes and body language. i think she feels nervous around me though..but she still makes the effort to come study with me and go for lunch..
what is the best thing i should do right now?
how do i escalate this into something MORE than hanging out? i want her to ask me to hang out haha. that would make me feel real happy😀 ..oh yeah.. i am 20 and she is 18, we both go to college, sorry for my online lazy grammar!
November 18, 2009 at 12:40 pm #10972April Masini
KeymasterIt’s understandable that you’re a little nervous to move things to the next level because you’re afraid of rejection, but it’s time to do just that! 🙂 Here’s how:
[b]Don’t[/b] “have a talk” and “decide” whether or not to be in a relationship. That’s not natural, and it will scare her off because it’s unfair to ask her to commit to a relationship when she doesn’t really know what that will look like or be like. In fact, it’s unfair to you, too, to commit to something you’re not sure what it will look like or feel like.[b]Do[/b] start dialing up the romance on the times you do spend together, and the flirting you do with her. For instance, while it’s great that she studies with you when you invite her, try inviting her to a movie on a Friday or Saturday night. Pay for her ticket. Hold her hand, if you feel it’s right, kiss her good night on the lips.The following week invite her for dinner — either at a restaurant or a home cooked meal — and make sure there’s candlelight, some great music to put you both in a romantic mood, and more hand holding.
Get it?
😎 Although it may seem scary to you to ask her out on a real date, it’s a lot more natural than asking her if she wants to “be in a relationship”. It also allows you both to slow things down to whatever pace you want. In other words, if she kisses you back, and flirts back with you on that first date, you’re going to get a much better reading of her feelings towards you. If she accepts a second date, then you’re even more sure that you’re “dating”. And at any time, either one of you can dial it down, too — much more organically.
The reason she isn’t initiating study dates or texts is that she’s not interested in being just your buddy, and since you’ve been friends for 2 years now, if this is going to become a romance, she wants to make sure your feelings for her are genuinely romantic. If she asks you first or texts you first, it’s just more of the same. But if you take the lead, and dial up your manliness, she’ll get a chance to respond not by being a buddy, but by being your date.
I hope this helps — let me know how things go! And good luck.
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