Amoop182

[Amoop182]

That won’t be for a long time. I’m not really interested in dating. The whole experience has me turned off to that part of my life. I need to figure out what to do with these feelings first before involving myself with someone else. Otherwise it’s not fair to the next female I meet

[Amoop182]

Well April. It looks like the trip is canceled. Her boyfriend was on her iPad and saw the conversations me and her had and confronted her about it. She told me the next day about it and said how bad she felt for hurting him and talking to me behind his back and said she can’t see me when I come down. So I told her pretty much what you instructed me to say. I’m can’t be friends and it’s not what I want.

This was the last thing I said to her.

I hope you will reconsider. Because I really miss you and would love to just see you. But if not I understand your decision and either way I’ll be heartbroken over it. Love you always. I won’t be texting you anymore because you know I can’t do that, knowing how I feel. I understand you want to be with your “boyfriend” over me because he is such a genuine nice guy and is available to you. It is what it is. I love you dude. Always will. You were never supposed to mean this much to me and I never thought I fall this hard for you, but you know what? I did and that’s the truth. That’s what keeps me holding on and it hurts like hell to let you go. Who knows maybe one day we will find that place where you and I can be together but who knows. Until then I’ll be missing you. If things don’t work out with you and your “boyfriend” you know my number. Goodbye Kt. Love you always

So now I’m just not reaching out to her anymore and I guess that’s that

[Amoop182]

Yeah. That’s what sucks. Is I am going away for 2 months after I go visit her. But she stated to me that she would consider moving back up here when I get back. So idk, if I were in the same area as her, this kid would not be any type of competition to me. But I mean idk when she even really sees him. She has been working her ass off trying to support herself. But that’s none of my business anyways

[Amoop182]

I mean I know I stated the term hang out. she knows how I feel and that I am interested in her, she also expressed feelings for me. I just am unsure of what might actually happen when I see her and what I should or should not do. But I am going to be taking her out on a date when I see her

[Amoop182]

Well I am going to take her out to dinner. I guess I should have used the term getting together for the weekend. You seem to take things very literally.

[Amoop182]

If she states she still has feelings for me though, how does that put me in the friend zone? And what do I do if things do happen? I mean she obviously doesn’t have too much respect for her current boyfriend if she wants to see me for a weekend when I come down there.

[Amoop182]

Let me ask you this. Let’s say when I go down there and we hang out and she makes a move on me. Do I go with it?

[Amoop182]

Hey April. So I ended up writing something different to Kt when I sent her the gift for Christmas. I pretty much gave her an explanation of how I felt and things I was afraid to admit to her during the course of our relationship. Things such as the ongoing “competition” between her and Ashley (my ex). She ended up calling me and we chatted about it for a while and she said things like “this is exactly what I always wanted to hear from you”. Anyways we have been face timing and talking on the phone and I mean it’s only specualtion and actions speak louder than words but, she claimed she will consider moving back here in May/June. When I get back from a trip I’m taking for 2 months. She still gives me the I miss you and she has been flirting with me over FaceTime and on the phone, saying I’m cute and all that and that she still has feelings for me. Before I go away however I asked if she would want to hang out if I came down to Florida to visit her. She said yeah, so I booked a trip for a weekend to go visit her.

Just looking for your advice on the situation and what to do.

[Amoop182]

I know what you’re saying. What I meant by not having a choice is the fact that I really can’t do anything else at this point. It’s not about not getting what I want when I want it. I knew she was involved with someone else when I started this. I guess we are just in different places in our lives. I mean there isn’t going to be much more to even post because I pretty much resigned from trying to be with her by letting go like that. Thank you for your support and advice

[Amoop182]

So I ended up not calling her. I sent her a Christmas gift as she had asked if we can still exchange. So I wrote her a letter with the gift stating how I can’t do this friendship because I only see her as someone I love and if she is not available for that then we cannot continue the charade of being friends. I didn’t put it exactly like that. But it is what it is. I guess I have no choice but to just give up on her

[Amoop182]

Should I tell her this over the phone? I just don’t know how I bring this up. I don’t want it to be out of the blue. Or do I just text her?

[Amoop182]

I just don’t know how to say it to her without it sounding like i am being demanding or giving an altumatum. I told her how I feel, she knows I still love her and have feelings for her and she too admitted to me that she still has feelings for me “undeniably”. So what do I do? How do I state these boundaries to her?

[Amoop182]

I really appreciate you working with me and your advice. What exactly do you mean by boundaries though? Like what do I say to her? I don’t want to come off harsh and give her the it’s all or nothing kind of impression. I mean it’s really all up to her. She has the boyfriend and the choice to stay with him. I can’t really make her leave him, that has to be her choice.

[Amoop182]

i don’t know what to do. I don’t want to tel her that likes its all or nothing

[Amoop182]

How can I get her back though? I’m not asking for a quick fix solution, I know it would take a lot of time. What would I do to work on mending things between us?

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