[Browneyedgirl0811]

I called him after a month of no contact. He made the unsolicited statement that he does not want a relationship, not just with me but with anyone. I said “ok” and got up to leave. He followed me to the door. That’s when he kissed me and said, “Maybe we can go out again sometime, just for fun.”
Do you still think he is “back”? I haven’t heard from him in the week since I saw him. I don’t want to make a fool of myself. Nevertheless, if this is a genuine opening, then I would like to make something of it. I do have a concern, though, about his unsolicited remark that he does not want a relationship.
If there is a real chance to pick up where we left off, then I am willing to take it. I think the right woman could rebuild things under this set of facts, don’t you? Some women might not be as hesitant under these circumstances of having been dumped and being told he does not want a relationship. I blame myself for things going wrong before, though, and would like to try and correct it if it is possible. Do you think it is possible? What do you mean by “he’s trying to keep it light to avoid “the third rail”‘? My thought in going forward would be to keep it light and see if rebuilding is possible. I want to do as you suggested – to “flirt with him, compliment him, be affectionate and generous with him and make him feel really valuable.” What is the best way to go about it? What if I sent him a flirty text and see what happens from there? If so, can you give suggestions? WHAT WOULD YOU DO NEXT?

[Browneyedgirl0811]

So my 6 date guy called me last night out of the blue from his week out of town., That’s a good thing, but I was exhausted to the point of grumpy from packing to move locally (which he knows about), so I let it go to voicemail. Instead of leaving a voicemail, however, he sent a text (much like the ones he usually sends before calling) which said, “Hey, if you have time for a call tonight, let me know.” Given his wording, I did not respond last night, but I did send a responsive text this morning. My text this morning said, “Good morning. Sorry I missed you last night. I would have loved to talk! Hopefully I can get a raincheck 🙂 What’s on tap for you today?” That was 4 hours ago and still no response. What should I make of his lack of response? My sister had advised me to say in this mornings text that I had fallen asleep, but that would be a fib. She also suggested that ask if he would like to talk today, but I did not for 2 reasons – 1) he may be too busy and 2) I am too busy today! Still, I’m afraid he may feel like I am trying to manipulate him as you warned in your prior reply, but that is not the case at all here. We are supposed to see each other Saturday night (following my move), and, even though I know I will be exhausted, I can’t wait! Since I ended my morning text with a question and have not heard back in 4 hours, should I be worried?

[Browneyedgirl0811]

I’ve now had 6 dates with this new guy since May 20. One month of dating. We’ve seen each other one night every weekend and once during the week. When out of town, he writes me about how he can’t wait to see me again. Thing is, he has never brought up exclusivity or commitment. And no, nothing has happened to create a presumption if you know what I mean. It’s been a struggle, but I have managed not to initiate contact even once. I know I can’t bring up the subject myself – a definite no-no. I’ve always heard that if a man does not ask to be exclusive, then presume that you are not. Since things haven’t gone that far physically, I think it would be morally okay for me to have a casual date with another guy who has asked me out , don’t you? I’d rather be exclusive with this one, but I can’t make him bring it up. Would it be good for him to know someone else is interested, or would that be detrimental?

[Author]

Posts