blonde3737

[blonde3737]

Hi, so I need help…Heres an update

My boyfriend(ex) and I have been split up since February 27th. We did talk 2 days February 28th & March 1st because we thought we were going to keep the communication there at least once a week but it made sense for him to tell me that he doesn’t want me to contact him until I am 100% sure that I want to be with him….

This has been such an emotional rollercoaster for me. I miss him soo much but a piece of me reflects on why I took a break. On the other side of things, that co-worker I told you guys about….we have been seeing each other, a lot… but it seems as though, on top of everything…it is a physical relationship although, he said he is falling for me and has for the past year or so and I don’t think I have emotional feelings for him at all…However, when I don’t hang out with him, I miss him but I think thats just because we had spent like everyday hanging out so I got used to it.

The weird thing is….My ex & this new guy are COMPLETELY OPPOSITES and maybe this is what I needed in order to figure out if my ex is who i wanna be with for the rest of my life. Whenever, I am driving to school or have down time, all i can do is perservate about if breaking up with my ex was what i needed for a while. I find myself still wearing the ring he got me, I still look at pictures of him & I on facebook and I see on his page who he is talking too…

I sound completely crazy I know but this is the most confused time I have ever felt. I love my ex so much but I am afraid that I actually have an “addiction” if you will to this co-worker because whenever we see each other, its jump on top of one another but he also had taken me out on dates & such and we have had a good time although I find myself thinking about my ex and comparing them too together….

One night 2 weeks ago, I was at home by myself and I ended up breaking down emotionally…I ended up e-mailing my ex and said
Hun,

” What an emotional rollercoaster life plays out sometimes. I did say I wouldn’t contact you until I was 100% sure about where I was at & I do apologize for the inconvenience of sending an e-mail…it is not to upset you. You know that saying ” Distance makes the heart grow fonder”, this is becoming more of a reality. I hope you have been keeping busy with work & the gym and going out with friends/family. I think about the little things in our relationship that I never really paid attention too and I appreciate them more. We have been through a lot together. You do need to know that I still think about us and that with time, this has not gone away nor will it. As we both know through my letter and expression of feeling, this is what I needed in order to figure out my life as a whole and I hope you have been able to reflect on yours as well. I do hope things to work out for us. I still love you & I really don’t even need to say that to you because you already know this. You knew deep down that you could understand why I felt this way because you felt it once years ago. I hope this e-mail doesn’t cause you to be angry or upset. You don’t have to respond, only if you want too. I will respect either way.I hope your family is well.

“What’s meant to be will always be” (your quote)
I am sorry for causing you any tears or thoughts of anger/doubt”

I never heard back from him and I knew that for myself, I shouldn’t of sent that e-mail because knowing I didn’t get one back upset me. However, all I can think about is that the last 3 words we said to each other is ” I love you” He told me that he hopes we can make it through this soon and put it in the rearview mirror and that I have his heart and he isn’t going anywhere….

Sooo, what am I to do now?!!? Amen for websites like these where people help you out

Please help me!

[blonde3737]

Hey so Kathy, That is awesome that you’re in the same boat- not that its a good thing what you are going through but its nice to have someone in the exact same boat.

Heres an update:My BF and I talked and cried together for 3+ hours before deciding that I need time for myself to get my shit together and he understood because 2 1/2 years ago he needed time for himself…and i gave it to him then we got back together 3 months later. However, We have been “Broken up” since saturday and I have talked to him 2x because its too hard not too and he was crying i could tell. Although, we live 2 seconds from each other and i saw his car wasn’t home around 9:00pm so he must be out with friends or something.

Anyways, I just got home from hanging out with that co-worker I told you guys about in the above posting. Well…we weren’t planning on doing anything but we were sitting in his car chatting then he leaned in for a kiss…we were making out for an hour or so…but ya know what…oddly enough.that was enough to show me that I love my boyfriend. I Didnt like the way the kids mouth kissed…hes cute and sweet but its not the same as my boyfriend..I know its not sex that we had but i dont even feel tempted to have sex with him like i did before. The one problem I have is..

MY BOYFRIEND SAID THAT WHEN I AM 100% SURE ABOUT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM,THEN I CAN CALL AND UNTIL then, don’t call…so i still have stress in my life which i am sorting out but the whole curiousity about being with someone else…has pretty much gone out the door because I couldve easily had sex but i didnt want too. Thats a sign to me.

2nd problem- When my boyriend and I do talk about getting back together perhaps maybe the end of the week…do I tell him about this makeout session? only if he asks? But– he doesnt like this kid who i was with tonight because one time he went through my phone and saw that this kid i was with tonight sent flirty text messages and i told him i dont have any emotional feelings for the kid and thats the truth..i was/am attracted to him physically.

If we/when we get back together- do you say something knowing you have always been honest? Or considering my bf said it would be rough if he heard i was with someone while single, it would be tough to get back together.

[blonde3737]

Thanks everyone for your help so far!, it is refreshing to get outside help from people who aren’t directly involved in your situation.

Now..My boyfriend and I separated for this week to see if my stress would go down. The deal was that I would call him 1 night this week from last sunday-this past sunday and we would talk and that went good, he said he missed me and i missed him also.

He has never done anything to hurt me and would do anything in the world for me. I just feel like maybe were too comfortable and in a routine…plus our intimacy isn’t the best…I haven’t been able to “orgasm” in a while and its because he goes to quick but says that we can look into techniques because he doesnt want to take medicine to help the situation and I dont even know if there is meds for that issue.

Anyways, this other guy is making my life difficult because I work with him and theres a physical attraction there. I won’t cheat on my current boyfriend but it sucks because intimacy is an issue with my current boyfriend yet this other guy and I have phy. chemistry. Although, the other night, a group of us from work went out and this guy at work who i sometimes innocently flirt with admitted that “Hes loved me since he met me 2 years ago” and he said he does not want to disrespect the relationship Im in because he knows that my bf and I have been together for a long time but he just wants me to know that…..Im so flattered and I have become even more confused because I love my boyfriend so much but then a small piece of me says ” Ive only been sexually with 1 guy in my life, am i craving for a little change or what”….

I feel ashamed because my boyfriend now loves me so much & I don’t want to hurt him and I thought this break for a week would help me sort out not only relationship stressors but life stuff which I have going on such as school issues, finances as everyone else does, family issues, work etc….

I don’t want to lose the relationship with my current boyfriend, we have plans of getting our first apartment together in May or June and I was really looking forward to that? Am I getting cold feet? Is this guy at work affecting my emotions? I feel embarassed that I need to come online to find advice but Ive searched my soul and i analyze everything and play out every what if sitation

What if my 6 year love of my life and i break up for a bit (if its meant to be itll be is what he says)
What if he finds someone while we are on a break which he says hes not interested in being with anyone else?
What I find someone?
What if the guy at work pursues me to date?
Etc etc,

Help please!

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