[wacki 0335]

Your reply almost made me laugh…not because it was funny, but because you’re so hitting the nail on the head. I actually did start to re-read “Think & Date LIke a Man” the other night and had actually forgot the most important parts of the book. A year ago when I decided to give it a chance, I let my guard and stopped looking at the big picture. Before I knew it a year had gone by. I didn’t realize it had been a year until I saw the date of my last post. So much of your book is crystal clear this time, so much so that it blew me away that I didn’t see it before, even though I had read it before.

Yes, it is sad, very sad, but I know I have to move on and let this one go!! 🙁

Definitely helped!!!! You are 100% correct. Thank you so much and I think I got it this time!

[wacki 0335]

I did buy your book and it is definitely FULL of great advice and a great read. I guess I consider my situation a little different, but probalby not. The way it feels when we are together is great. I know he cares about me. It is the time apart that sucks and at this rate it doesn’t look like his financial problems are going away any time soon and he won’t get into a relationship until they are good or maybe that is just an excuse. I don’t know….

Thanks for the advice April!

[wacki 0335]

Hello April…well here I am almost a year later still in the same situation. He is still having financial problems and says he can’t be in a relationship right now, but says that he maybe someday when he gets he finances in order. He does have two jobs and works in the heat 5 days a week and nights 5 days a week and no day off. He doesn’t want me to go away but he doesn’t really give me much reason to stay either other than says he really enjoys my company. I try to wait for him to text me and he will but it takes a while. He says I can text him whenever I want, any time I want and he ALWAYS replies. He seems a little sad when I don’t text him and try to wait for him and is always happy to hear from me. This past weekend I asked if he had lost interest in me because that is what it feels like and he said No. That was all I wanted to hear but he elaborated and said that he is just tired for the heat, financial problems and can’t have a relationship now. He said that he enjoys our time together, great conversation, laughs, etc. and can talk to me and doesn’t have that with any other female, but doesn’t want to lead me on. He has always been very honest with me. The part that really has me concerned now is the “doesn’t want to lead me on” part. When I see him I have his undivided attention and for a few weeks after I see him and then into about the third week he seems less interested until I see him again and the cycle repeats. He looks a little sad when it’s time to leave. This has continued for one year and 8 months now!! It is so frustrating and I wonder if I am wasting my time. Please help!!!

[wacki 0335]

Those are excellent ideas. I thought the advice would be more like step back and take a deep breath, think before you take action, etc. Those will all only help for the moment. I agree with you 100%. I can take this time to better myself, preoccupy my mind, and not focus so much on him.

Thanks April!! 😀

[wacki 0335]

Thank you very much for replying to my post. I bought your book a few months ago and love it!! It covers how to be confident, let the man be the man, what men want, clothes, make up, sex, etc. The book literally goes over everything from your head to your toes, inside and out, mind and body (you wrote it so i know you know this). Awesome!! I did read the chapter about how to tell when a man is ready for a relationship. I guess I didn’t think it applied here because we had a relationship before his financial situation started, but we do have a distance problem on top of everything else. I do keep busy with exercise, friend, family, and social events. I meant too much time alone without a man in my life to share it with.

When he said that he is in “survival mode” right now it was because he wants me to give him time to get things together. He hasn’t asked me to wait because he knows that isn’t fair, but has implied it. I was asking for steps to help me chill out. I get that you think I should move on with my life. For now, I would rather try some steps to chill and not give up. I realize that it may all be for nothing, but I am not ready to give up. He’s not ready for a relationship now, but he will be.

[wacki 0335]

I agree with you 100%. It is a great website and I am glad I found it too! 😀

[wacki 0335]

Yes it is.

[wacki 0335]

I believe it is both. I know that is a cop out. I think destiny put people in your life/path and you choose which one you want to spend your life with. I don’t believe you have only one soul mate.

[wacki 0335]

Hey Bigmoney11,
I am sure that April will give you some awesome advice, but you will have to listen to her. I should have let her go first, but had to chime in on this one.

First, I joined this forum about a month ago. I have found the advice that April gives to be excellent. She gives it but you have to implement it. You should without a doubt buy her book. If you read it and take it all in, it will help you. I bought her book and it is an easy read. I am about to read it again and again until I know it forwards and backwards. I am a person, just like you, that came here for advice on problems with a guy. The book makes total sense. If you do what she says you can’t go wrong. It is never wrong to become a better person and NEVER too late!!

Second, if you don’t like yourself how can you expect others to. It sounds like you think a guy likes you without letting him pursue you and think that is a relationship before it is and that probably runs him off. Take it slow. Look for the signs.

Third, only you can make you happy. A guy isn’t going to do that for you. Find a way to be happy with you and then look for a guy to share that with. Join some clubs, get out, make friends, etc… Most important buy April’s book. I promise I have nothing to do with her book sells. I just know it is a good book and could change how you date. If you take her advice it will change how you date and think about men. Don’t be a man hater. If you read other post you will see that everyone has made mistakes in relationships and got hurt. I have been single most of my life and that is my fault. I throw away the good one and go for the bad ones. I have to work on that…not give up.

I wish you the best. You are not alone. You are one of many with relationship problems. Just buy the book!!!! and listen to what April says. She really know her stuff!!!

[wacki 0335]

Run from this guy, don’t walk. Being a virgin at 28 is not wrong. It is commendable!! Save it for a guy that loves you and is worthy. This guy is a male whore. He will use you and throw you away. Run!!!

[wacki 0335]

Hey Sep211,
I have a lot of spare time on my hands lately and instead of sitting around getting bored or falling into a bad relationship out of desperation (waiting to see what happens with Long Distance Relationship). I decided to volunteer some of my time; Habitat for Humanities, Cash4kids, anyway that website lead me to another website that has “Meet ups”. These are different groups with common interest; being green, paranormal, socializing, outdoors, pets, etc. There seems to be a group for everything and they are all over the country. I thought this might help you to get out and have fun with other people. It is not a singles things. It is people getting together with common interest. There is a group called “Girls just want to have fun.” Girls get together and do manicures, movie day, shopping, etc. It could be fun and you could meet new people to hang out with without the complication of trying to find a new man until you are ready. Just thought I would share the info with you. The website is http://www.meetup.com. Remember to always be safe and only meet up with the group in a public place. Good luck!

[wacki 0335]

Hello Bigmoney11,
I think you should read very closely what April is saying and take her advice. April didn’t write that she didn’t believe in God. She said she wasn’t an expert in that area.

How do you know your dreams are from God? They could be your mind wanting something it can’t have. The guy doesn’t call!!! That is your sign right there! Buy April’s book. I did and it covers everything you need to know.

[wacki 0335]

Although I probably should know the answer…I don’t. Please see last post!

[wacki 0335]

April is right again, oh course. It amazes me how many different topics she has knowledge/wisdom about!!

I will tell you a very brief story. Eight years ago I dated and got engaged to a drug addict. I didn’t know until I was deeply involved and madly in love that he had a serious drug problem. I thought that a good person could not walk away and desert a person with such a serious problem. I felt that he would be fine and I had to try to help him. I also believed that a few months in rehab and all would be fine. Not so. His family and friends turned their back on him (well not really, just refused to enable him anymore). I couldn’t leave him alone to surely die from an overdose, suicuide, or killed in a drug deal gone bad. I truely believe I was helping him. Well, four years ago he died regardless of everything I tried to do. At first I thought I failed to save him. It took me a long time to realize I never had the ability to save him. Only he had that power. As much as I loved him and still love him today, if I could go back I would have to walk away from that situation because it devastated me to my core. I didn’t help him at all. I will never fool myself into thinking I can save anyone besides myself.

Your own sorbriety could be in jeoparty. Sad, but true, you can’t help her. It may ultimately destroy you!!! Be strong for both of you and walk away so that she can get herself together, if that is possible. As soon as she is release she will probably use again because she got arrested and didn’t make a conscious decision to stop. Walk away, you can’t help her as much as you want to and as hard as it will be to leave her. It is truely the only thing you can do. The rest is up to her.

[wacki 0335]

Hey April,

Wanted to give an update on my first post. I took your advice and stayed very quiet and it took him a week and a day to text me and has text me since a few times with jokes, or a “Hey”. Prior to my post I had made plans with him for Labor Day Weekend. I had to cancel because the plans fell through and I wanted him to make the next plans. He actually has asked me out for this weekend. But, it still doesn’t fell the same though. It almost feels like the beginning when I first meet him and I have to start at square one, get to know him and work back up to a relationship. Is that it? Do I have to prove myself all over again? Or am I over analyzing the whole situation because I am afraid the damage is done? I am listening to his actions, but they change. One day very inviting and the next time kinda short.

I forgot to mention that he is working two jobs now and his finances are not good. I know he worries a lot about that. He had financial problems before, but wasn’t working two jobs.

Does it sound like there is hope?

One last question: I am the one that posted “What should I have done different?” about the co-worker that came over to install light and have a cookout and exposed himself to me. I want to tell the guy that is the long distance relationship about it, but I am not sure what he will think of me inviting a guy over even though it was just as friends. Should I tell him what the guy did or keep it to myself?

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