ilovehim

[ilovehim]

ok so i probably should let u know my bf will not be getting head or anything more from me. i made that very very clear before we dated and he knows it, and has never pressured or even asked me. he is very attentive and isnt like the stereotypical jock who wants to be with the guys and plays it cool with them or treats me like an accessory. he is the exact opposite, clearly affectionate and not afraid to be even if his friends say hes whipped … but my best friend *jen kindof betrayed me..she became friends with his ex, 😥 now shes around more then ever, i got upset and felt hurt about this and tried to just cut ties off with jen but she made me feel kindof guilty so i worked it out and i decided to try and be friends ….with his ex so i messaged her and was very nice…it was actually quite genuine since i was tired of feeling hatred that was making me bitter,welllllllllll……….. that may not have been the best idea, though i am happy i took the high route and tried to be civil i said i shouldnt have put all the blame on her she brought the conversation to my bf saying it was all his fault anyways and that she wouldnt trust him if she were me because hes a lying ********** etc then she began telling me things i knew like how he liked her again back in november until he found stuff out ( this was right around when me and him were beginning to talk again and i knew he cared for her because i was who he confided in and he had just found out about her actually cheating not just emotionally but actually making out with his bestie..and more ) but i began feeling insecure during this conversation she told me how he cried and said he couldnt trust her and too many people liked her so he didnt want to get hurt(i didnt know all these details) then she began telling me that when all that stuff on facebook happened he asked and she never offered…i asked why she sent the message planning it then and she said it was a joke 😯 i really dont believe her but she has put doubts in my mind…then she started saying he always asked and that !!when!! we break up he will be asking again i told her IF we break up then what he does isnt any of my business and i wouldnt care and she said trust me u will(then i asked him about this, he did not know i was talking to her, and he said no he wouldnt cuz hes done with her.) next thing i know she told me how she doesnt care about him etc but then i asked why she hated me and she said probably cuz u date *john and i hate everyone he dates, and i said well thats not a fair reason and she goes lol well i dont hate you i just dont like anyone hes with… i am nearly positive she is playing mind games i know she wants us to breakup i know she played mind games with him before we dated so that he would stop dating girls or stop liking them(sometimes i think shes evil 👿 ) …………..i dont believe her everything about her makes me see red and my blood boil 👿 but at the same time now i am doubting and feeling second best. well he doesnt treat me as if im second best or anything like that..its just how i feel if that makes sense….can you help me sort this out?

[ilovehim]

🙂 thank you soo much:)

[ilovehim]

yes i know i shouldve taken your advice but i had alot in my life going on and i let emotion take over logic. i guess i should explain more about my bf *fred and i. i knew who he was but i only had caught glances of him in 7th grade. he wasnt someone i stalked but i remember the most random things about him and i dont know why like seeing him in walmart, and having to sit by him on the bus once. i never thought about dating him but i think deeeeep down i knew i liked him. then in 8th grade he was in my lunch. he used to flirt i was interested but i never paid him much attention if any at all. then one day he came up and asked if i wanted his number. i asked why id want it and he said so we could talk. so i took it and we started talking. i really began to like him alot but he had a gf at first he said he was going tto end it and i just said ok if you want well he didnt. we would get into huge fights and only my friends really knew about me and him since he had a gf. we never did anything except hug and flirt.it would kill me to see him affectionate with his gf although he wouldnt kiss her in front of me or anything(something i noticed she would ask for them and hed say no) i cried alot over him and he at times was a major @$s but i was still crazy about him. i had a boyfriend i met at a park and he was way in love with me…we dated a week and i ended it because first of all i still had feelings for fred and secondly i didnt want to lead him on. well after 8 months of being his sideline fred finally broke up with his gf. he was a total d!ck to me. i got tired of it and during the summer break i dated *ray. ray was emotionally abusive and manipulative. i rushed into this relationship and used him to get over fred. well when school started fred and me had two classes together and i was having trouble with ray. fred knew and offered me an outlet for my emotions. me and ray broke up but me and fred were only best friends. it wasnt long before all my emotions came flooding back…but fred didnt want a serious relationship he made that clear …most of the time but he also expressed deep feelings for me. he flirted with other girls even had a gf for a week that he kissed once but besides that he hugged me, asked me to meet him at his locker,and texted me all the time,asked me out(i said no when i was with ray) and on our first date he didnt kiss me but he was sweet. well on our second date we kissed. he was my first kiss and it was great . he told me he loved me and began to seperate from those other girls. he asked me out on christmas night. i said yes. since im not the popular girl and hes a jock he had aalot of people trying to break us up alot of the other girls.and he didnt. right now this is the most serious relationship ive been in and the healthiest. he really is my best friend and knows more about me than anyone and hasnt judged me. the thing is i remember how he treated me when he had a gf and i was his sideline,how he was so good at hiding it from her and when she did find out he lied and she texted me saying i was a ho and she hoped i burned in hell that he didnt want me and he was going to marry her(when he found out he made her apologize).when i asked why he strung us both along he said he knew he didnt lovee her and really only liked her 3months of thier relationship but he used to care what peopple thought and she was suicidal. her dad was also his coach that year so he was under pressure from her dad. well i know it was wrong for us to emotionally cheat but i never tried to break them up id defend him and tell her he loved her and when they broke up i was already talking to ray. but to this day she blames him dumping her on me. she will text me and say how she is so much better and how he downgraded by going from her to me. she will text me and say he still loves her and always will. and just today while me and him were out to eat she texted him and tried to pick a fight out of nowhere and last week she texted him and said i dont know we cant just be friends and before that she was offering head. its getting ridiculous i want her to move on and she says she has. i only confronted her once and it was because she offered him head.other than that i let him handle it and he either ignores it or is really mean(i dont know why but i tell him not to be so mean). i do trust my boyfriend however. the thing is since shes so popular and called me a ho for just being flirty with him i assumed they didnt do anything sexual.but a month into our relationship i found out his ex had given him head while they were dating. it really hurt , i assumed he was different and i felt used considering the whole time they dated i wanted to be with him. i asked him about it and he said it happened once and it was a huge mistake. sometimes when me and him makeout he will look at me so deeply and look so in love and whisper how much he loves me and i cant help but think what him and his ex did after he got head,how he looked at her…as weird as it seems i imagine how he mightve moaned and if it felt good and how much he mightve liked it and it almost makes me want to cry. i on the other hand set boundaries :no sex, or head,etc before marriage. he definatly respects it and never asks for more but at times i wonder if im giving him enough or if he wants more..

[ilovehim]

yes i know i shouldnt have i didnt confront her the first time but in this situation i forgot your advice im just so frustrated they broke up almost 9 months ago and she is still obsessing over him, she will text me out of no where saying that he still loves her and will always love her and that he is going to end up with her and all kinds of stuff(yet she says she hates him)
i do ttry and trust my boyfriend he is allowed to talk to other girls and he still talks to his other exes but he doesnt want to talk to her and she is always offering things that i wont give him so far he has resisted her but this is his only ex he has really gotten intimate with and i want her out of our lives i waited 3 months for her to disapear and she hasnt. i think shes in denial everyone even her friends say she is obsessed.i trust my bf…its her
and …can u answer or provide guidance on who i should believe from the last post?

[ilovehim]

ok so i let this go but now there is a huge problem.
one day when i was at a volleyball game afterschool with my boyfriend. he asked me to stay afterschool,knowing i would,to stay at his sisters game. i got bored and i was reading the texts he got over his shoulder(he wasnt really trying to hide it) a girl who used to have a huge crush on him was saved as ashley marie:). the week or so before i had been at his party and i had been going through his phone(he knew) and i seen the messages listed above from his ex and ashley had been saved as just ash r. well i got suspicious so i logged onto his facebook (he gave me his password and allows me on it) and i seen he had a message …from his ex i wanted to almost cry when i saw her name, i read the message it said
“sorry i was guna stay but im supposed to be”grounded”and anyways u were with *lizzy(thats me) but i will see if i can stay another day:) lol”
i was soooo upset the next day at school i wouldnt let my bf touch me or anything he knew i was upset though and kept asking what was wrong our main conversation mainly went
him-whats wrong?please tell me
me-would you cheat on me?
him-of course not!
me-oh
him-whats wrong?
me-have you talked to ur ex recently?
him-yes
me-oh well you have a message you might want to read it on facebook bye
him-wait
me-bye
we headed off to second period,halfway through class i looked at my phone and seen i had 13 new messages
he basically told me his ex had im’d him on facebook asking for her stuff which he said he didnt have and she said he did and he said no he threw it away bye then she said wwhatever *mike has a bigger dick and stuff like that and he said i dont care bye and she said wait ru going to ur sisters volleyball game and he said i might if *lizzy goes and she said well if she doesnt i will be there if she doesnt ok? and he said oh she said yeah my boobs have gotten bigger ..wanna see(a pic) and he said idc and she said ok then he said no i dont want one then she said they could stay after and go behind the stairs And do stuff(she basically offered head) and he said no he wouldnt do that to me.
well i was still in 2nd period when i read these messages and guess what! his ex is in my 2nd period i broke down well to make a long story short i decently confronted her and asked why she was going to try and stay after school with my bf and she said what are u talking about? and i said u know*mikey has a bigger dick and she said oh that and i said why are you and she said why dont u ask him? and i said i did now why are you and she said im not and i said wow i seen the message and she just called me a bitch said i piss her off and that she hated me. well word got around i wasnt afraid of her and she texted me after school and said she’d fight me i told her ok next time dont run(she did the first time) and she said if you piss me off i will go insane and i said good so will i and then she said i dont even know why you are so mad its just a message –i was completely dumbfounded! i said fine explain your story and she said my bf asked her to give him head and all that pretty much blamed it on him
but here is where i am torn i kindof believe her story cuz my bf is hormonal and she made him sound mean like he usually is to her, and cuz he didnt tell me about this conversaton when it happened
but i believe my boyfriend because if he asked me to stay after school that day knowing i would, he told me what happened before he even had read the message on facebook, and his ex is still in love with him and she tries to break us up alot even though she denies it
but im confused who do i believe??

[ilovehim]

ok so being the die hard communicater that i am i of course didnt drop this. we worked it out he said that he can control himself he just didnt want to be put in a situation that could lead to rumors since people are trying to break us up…well recently ive heard about this girl flirting with him when i wasnt in school she has huge crush on him. from what i have heard she was hitting on him big time ..and that he wasnt flirting backor even acknowledging her really i heard this ffrom about 4 peoplle and they all say he didnt flirt back so im happy about that but i was sooooo mad when i heard that she actually tried to make a move on him when i wasnt around..now i feel like ripping her to peices today in the class that we all 3 have together she i swear had a smirk on her face when she seen me and him together now i feel all clingy in a way. i want to search his phone(ive never done this, he has offered to let me) i want to ask hhim everything like how much he is with girls, how many he might like..all sorts of questions like that and wanting to “test”if he would cheat on me. but i dont know why since before this girl i had no really big problems with him talking to girls.

[ilovehim]

thank you, you have already answered my other posts i would just like a reply to this
please give advice 😥

[ilovehim]

another thing is we are both still virgins both wanting to wait until we are married. i talked to him some more and he said he doesnt want to go with out me and he used this as an excuse to get out of going if i wasnt because people are trying to break us up(his ex gf is a popular girl and has alot of people trying to break us up she is still mad in love with him)and if he goes there without me he knows that they will start some drama. he said he would never do something that he would be scared to tell me about or that would hurt me …then he got upset cuz i asked how he would feel if when i go on vacation with my friend like i do every year and i guy throws himself at me and if i told him i didnt trust myself how would he react. he got upset and then we talked and he told me that in the summer when he has football everyday and goes away to camp how is he supposed to know that i still care and that im not out hanging with other guys when we dont get to see eachother for weeks. i told him: honestly i would tell you i have not given you a reason not to trust me i tell you when guys flirt with me …i dont need to be with you to know i love you…we talked a little more and he trusts me but im still bothered by this trip i dont really want to go because i only talk to one of the girls going and i dont want to look dumb all by myself plus his ex gf i going. i do want to go though because it sounds like alot of fun and me and my bf will have alot of time to hangout

[ilovehim]

[b]thank you!:)[/b]

[ilovehim]

someone please give some advice or something

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