[Jay]

I got her in the end 🙂

Just thought I’d let you know…

[Jay]

Well hello again. I thought I’d give you an update as you spent the time to try to advise me.

The thing is, I really don’t see this woman as out of my league. I don’t consider myself a casanova by any means to be sure but I am stable, healthy, and a little spontanious. I’m not a failure with women but I just can’t have this one.

I am trying not to contact her after she has not responded to two of my texts (about 4 days ago now) as I don’t want her to think I am desperate.

She cancelled lunch to go see a good female friend of hers. It all went very quiet after that. I heard from her yesterday when she had car trouble. Before our encounter I would have just offered to go and look at the car for her, I can do that sort of thing, but now I just feel like she wants me to just do the boyfriend stuff without me having anything more. Before I would have just gone and fixed it, consoled her about something or other. Anything really.

Its all a big mess and it really does seem to have changed everything. I’ve gone from being over the moon to wishing it had never happened.

I’m sure she’s ok, hope so. I feel awful.

Thanks for having this site, blokes don’t tend to talk to each other about this sort of thing.

[Jay]

I think I should have given more detail. Reading back what I posted sounds like I’m a teeneger, I’m actually 35!

I know the difference between love and lust and I feel both of those things and have done for about 6 years. Nobody would have helped out on her emotional crises over the years without having strong feelings for her.

Anyway, I did take some of your advice, with trepidation. I bought her a nice present, neither too expensive nor too cheap. A nice quality necklace and I made it clear that I wanted her to know that she is not just some woman I managed to get into bed.

She still regrets what happened and I don’t. I want it to be more but would rather stay in touch and be friends than just have nothing. She says she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship with sex but I really think that’s her way of letting me down gently. At the end of the day I just think I am not her type. For the record, I think she’s looking for a prince charming that doesn’t exist, I’m really not that bad of a guy, all things considered.

However, I am really worried that this has put a major spanner in the works. I am taking her out for lunch tomorrow and she wants to talk about it further. I don’t really know how to clear the air at all.

What will be will be I suppose.

Thanks

[Author]

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