jbgone239

[jbgone239]

I appreciate the advice from both of you. April, maybe it is true that she doesn’t feel the same way about me even though I’d love for it to be that she does. But do you really think she doesn’t care? Or that she isn’t really that into me? It’s hard for me to see these things as being true, but like you said, it could just be that I am to close to the situation and that I’m trying to trick myself into believing that there is something there when there really isn’t. I agree with crazed-driver in that she wants me to meet her family and all so that they can tell her if they approve because she does see me as a guy she wants to have a relationship with. But it does all come back to what you said April, I could just be trying to convince myself that there is something there. Please let me know what your thoughts are about this family vacation she wants me to visit her on, I feel like it is a good thing because it points to the fact that she cares enough to have her family get to know me, but I don’t know how to handle the situation, because I may not be viewing it without letting my emotions get in the way.
jbgone239

[jbgone239]

I really do appreciate all the advice. Saint you are right. I did screw up and being sorry goes much farther then just saying it. All I can do is show her that I care about her and that I am still the same guy she liked before this incident. The fact that she is still talking to me and wants to remain friends is very encouraging for now, but it’s a long road ahead. I have to respect her wants/needs for now and give her the time and space she needs to think about this and deal with it in her own way. She knows how sorry I am and how badly I feel about myself and the situation. I know she knows that I am a genuine guy who knows when he has screwed up and makes no excuses for doing so. I think it will take time for me to earn her trust back if I ever do. And Marksem you are right as well, her family knowing about this has a lot to do with it as well. She can forgive me easier then them because of our past history together, but her family has never met me and only knows me from the story of that one night. That will be the toughest hurdle to overcome if I get that chance. Hopefully that will become less of an issue as more time passes and my actions and behavior from this point forward speak to kind of person I am.

[jbgone239]

I appreciate the fact that you don’t try and BS anything. I know that a clear cut answer to my problem would be ideal but you make a great point in saying that it is a process. I have done a lot of damage and I’ve done things that can’t be undone. All I can do is control my behavior going forward. I’m hopeful and optimisitc for the future. I think she knows the kind of person I am and although the wound is still fresh and she won’t admit it just yet, I know that she knows that it was just a big huge mistake one time in my life. Nobody is perfect and people do screw up, some bigger then others. As long as I can learn from this I know that going forward I will be able to forgive my own actions at some point. Just not knowing where you stand is hard but I know I can get through it. Now I know what it feels like to truly feel horrible about myself and my behavior. Even more importantly I know how it feels to hurt someone I care about deeply, And I never want to live with the knowledge that I’ve done either ever again. It’s one thing to hurt yourself but it is 1000x worse when you do it to someone you care about. Thank you for your perspective on the situation, I took your advice to heart and I hope that in due time I will be able to change and deal with my problems in a much more appropriate and mature manner.

[jbgone239]

I think you are right, I have to deal with my emotions in a different way. This is not the first time I have went out drinking because I was upset about something in my life, but this is the first time I have ever gotten that drunk, and it is certainly the first time I ever touched a girl in an inappropriate way. It’s weird because this girl I like is not my girl friend. She made it very clear that we were just hanging out and seeing what happens. The fact is that a few months ago we went out on a couple dates and I thought everything was going great then as well. But then she started acting weird. She never said anything. So I approached her about it and she told me she was not over her ex and that she couldn’t keep dating me while she still had these feelings for him. So when I saw him at the party this past week, with her telling me that we were just hanging out and not putting a title on anything, it made me think that she was feeling that same way she did before. There are tons of ways I could have reacted and I chose the wrong one. But I was already burned by this once before, how could anyone blame me for thinking the same thing yet again. My behavior was inexcusable and wrong. That is a fact and it can’t be defended. However, I feel like she still likes me and that is why she wants to remain friends. I feel like because it all happened in front of her friends and sisters that she feels as if she has no choice but to keep her distance for the time being. I don’t want to have false hope for anything but do you really believe I have blown it completely? This girl has known me for 5 years, she said she has never seen me like this, she knows the kind of guy I am and she wants to stay friends. I just feel like she wants to keep me close for now while she gives it time. What do you think April?

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