jdawg

[jdawg]

It sounds like your jealousy may have been too much for him, which i dont blame him. Jealousy needs to be kept under raps and delt with by the person who feels it, because it is not the others problem that you are jealous. It was too much to handle, so he quit things, fair enough. Ask yourself why you felt so jealous. Was he a flirt with other girls, had he cheated? If so then fair enough for feeling this way but you ought to have dumped him for that. If you are jealous out of insecurity, then no one can resolve those issues apart from you. Relationships are difficult at the best of times, ad distance to the equation and it is so much harder. He may still love you but at the end of the day if you continue to be overly jealous, he and any other person you meet, you both will experience difficulties

[jdawg]

From a guys point of view, that is weird. I could be wrong, but when ive met girls that have said they really like me, like in your situation, they were happy to kind of show me off. They didnt hide it with their friends. This girl sounds like she’s almost ashamed to admit you to are seeing eachother, which you are by what youve described. Maybe she feels her friends will judge her? not because of you but just being in a relationship, she obviously feels its wrong to say she lost her virginity to her friends. Why is that? Is it again about feeling judged? Tbh at 21, you would not be judged because you “lost it” I mean lets face it most ppl lose it in their teens so good on her for respecting herself to wait this long. But yeah i dunno dude, sounds fishy, sounds like she could be taking you for the ride and telling you what she thinks you want to hear. Sounds like you invest a lot more into this then she does. Which isnt fair, and if i were in your position i wouldnt want a bar of it. You are being too nice and she isnt making the same kind of commitment. I would back off and see if she comes to you. Last thing you want is to be too good for her and have her take you for granted. If she cant appreciate you in public, talk about you to her friends once in a while, then you deserve someone who appreciates you when your not together, not just when you are. Hope this helps bro

[jdawg]

Hmmm i see where you’re coming from. I guess I just feel like I have to do a little extra in the relationship than she does. Like i said before, i feel im more accepting of her ideas than she is of mine, i feel if we fight im always the one who has to initiate moving forward. Its annoying. It would be nice if she could too! It feels as though she thinks cos im the guy i have to do more. Id like more equality so i guess im taking what happened the other day further then i needed to try and show her. Yes we should have laughed it off, but her reaction to me was mean and something ive never seen before. Why cant she be the one comin to talk to me to sort it out? Its annoying! My mates complain about their gf’s doing the same thing haha. Maybe its a woman thing. Ah well you allowed me to see the humour behind all of it so cheers, will have a chat with her later

[jdawg]

I disagree with April on this. I concider myself a nice guy and when i first hung out with my now girlfriend, I was 17. I was shy and our first party together we kissed. Second party we kissed and cuddled together. I asked her out the next party but he may just be less shy then me. In those 3 times she never gave me the cheek. For one, guys hate getting rejected, when he went to kiss you, you gave him the cheek! Accidently of course, but he doesnt know that! You kissed him when yous had had a few drinks, then when he went to leave the next morning, when yas were both sober, you gave him the cheek. So in his mind, hes thinking “she kissed me when she had a few drinks, but when shes sober she gives me the cheek” From this guys pov you are not giving him enough signals to want to ask you out or talk to you. I dont blame him! I would have quit worrying about you too. I also do not think you have come across as easy by snuggling with him, I also do not think all guys want to sleep with girls just cos they can. Thats bullshit. Many guys do, but many dont. I waited 7 months to sleep with my gf. thats ages im told. Yeah i was 18 but most ppl i know lost it earlier. My gf was ready after 3 months but i said no. And im still with her 4 yrs later. So while many guys may want to get in your pants, some dont. Im backing this guy up here, i think hes shy and scared you will give him the cheek again. Why should he bother really? we all know the cheek thing was unintentional except him. He had to then ask you to kiss him! What a low blow. Of course he aint gonna bother with you! You rejected him, unintentionally. I reckon he likes you a lot. Way too much to want to get into your pants. But hes letting his feelings slide because you gave him mixed signals. Hes trying to move on because he doesnt think you like him enough. Its not too late though. I would message him, because i reckon he likes you. Dont let it go without knowing, because lets face it, you dont know. He feels you arent keen, and thats fair enough because of what happened. Let him know you are keen by initiating a hang out. Then see what happens. Just remember, the reason he didnt push further the two nights yas hung out is because he wasnt ready to, not because he didnt want to!

[jdawg]

I think it could be two things. 1 he is playing the game (too well) and that he is waiting for you to determine the relationship. He is waiting for you to come forward and discuss where you two are going. He is not investing too much because he doesnt want to seem clingy or that hes too interested. Guys and girls both do this occasionally, i believe in order to keep the other one guessing.

2. For 6 months to have passed and hes still calling you “bud” thats a bit strange. If hes not doing it because of the above, then maybe he just wants to be friends? Are you sure he hasnt got a girlfriend? Just because you’ve met his fam and friends doesnt mean that he doesnt. Sorry if I sound harsh, its just better you find out what the deal is. I have a gf and the girls i am friends with i call “bud”. I would never call my gf “bud”.

But for 6 months to pass and you arent sure you’re going out, i think hes just taking you for a ride. If he really liked you, was really into you and wanted more than just ‘fooling around’, surely you would know by now. Hence why i say he seems to be playing the game too well. Ever thought he may just be paying for your meals to get some fooling around time with you? Guys can be manipulative too. You are not overthinking, youve done well to make it this far without overthinking lol. But yeah be sure hes not taking you for a ride until he finds someone hes really into.

Btw, by fooling around, if you mean sleeping together, then you may be what he conciders a fbuddy. If I am right, is that what you want to remain? Because after this long, if i am indeed correct (i could be way off) then you will always remain in that category. If his mind isnt made up in 6 months, hes not keen for any progression.

I would ask him straight out, because as far as i am aware, if yas arent going out after this long, chances are he could be taking you for a ride and you are better off letting him go so you can focus on someone who will invest more time in you and who will call you more than just “bud” after you fool around

Just my two bobs worth

[jdawg]

The note could work. Alternatively you could just start going there a little more and having a conversation with her each time. Give it a few weeks and I reckon you would have a fair idea of whether or not she may be interested in hanging out. If after a few weeks you dont feel she is that keen, then you wont have to ask and feel she may reject your offer. If things go well, you may feel very confident.

@someoneinaustx, you have to look at it from the girls point of view. You wrote the running girl a note complimenting her on her beauty. She has never met you. You have never spoken. So for her to receive a note like that, she would be pretty freaked out. Its stalkerish from her point of view, even though you had good intentions. She wants to run and feel like the whole world isnt watching her, so to receive that note, why would she want to go back to where she used to run knowing that some random guy is watching her.

[jdawg]

Thanks, however I received the poster after buying a case of alcohol, it was a promotional one, not one I received from an old girlfriend.

Secondly, my stubborness will show here, but I dont feel I should apologise when shes the one who flipped out and was harsh and unaccepting of an idea of mine. Im completely fine that she wasnt up for it, but to flip out like she did is strange, and after being together for 4 yrs, i have never seen a reaction like this one. Im very open minded as you can probs tell, she isnt. But I feel she needs to change her attitude to atleast be understanding of my ideas. After all, she has told me things i think a weird and I have reacted nanchalantly. I guess I just expect the same and because she hasnt, I am annoyed at her. Im not happy with her reaction at all and want to show her that it is unacceptable to judge my ideas like she did. Is that unfair? Its clear we are both still trying to set ground rules because we have been talking about the future a lot and if she is the girl im going to spend the rest of my life with, i dont think its unreasonable for her to have some respect for any ideas or opinions i have. not just sexually, but in general.

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