JJ_00

[JJ_00]

Thanks April!!

Strangely enough thinking of him as a 2 year old actually helps!! 😆

What is also strange is that I feel (and people around me too) that we are in some sort of a ‘silent relationship’. For example, other guys at work generally tend to keep their distance from me acting as if I am attached and are particularly cautious when the man in question is present. If anyone is looking for him–they will ask me where he is. If something has happened– It is me people will ask to see if he is ok or how he is feeling. This is why I think I am finding it draining as it seems I am experiencing all the bad parts of being in a relationship (fights, jealousy etc) without the good bits! and without actually being in a relationship!!! I could definitely deal with it better if there were some good things coming out if it 🙂

You have been great and thank you for helping me clarify things in my own mind. It can be so difficult to organize the most basic of thoughts when you are caught up in the middle of it!! 😛

[JJ_00]

Hi April,

I think what you have said about his feelings being all over the place in bang in the mark! Sometime I feel he hates me and others there is an obvious closeness.

Regarding the second half of your (and katdawg’s) response about acting professional etc– I have done exactly that. Throughout this whole thing I have NEVER reacted. I always ignore any comment or strange behavior in front of superiors or co-workers and continue to act with professionalism and have not demonstrated any hostility towards him for him behavior. If he friendly to me, I am friendly back and if he is ignoring me or makes smart comments I just ignore him and never question it. Exactly what you are suggesting I do.

However he has kept this up now for some months and quite frankly it is draining. Even last night when I replied to his email regarding work, I was straight to the point (but not rude) similar to the tone of his email to me and he replied saying I was being edgy!!

The truth is I do care for this man (even though from what I have said he sound controlling and spoilt!) but was not confident how sure he was of me and/or having a relationship in general.

I guess you will tell me the same thing and I should continue to be nonreactive. I just find it strange that he has continued this for so many months without getting any reaction and not giving up!

Thank you for your help. I find all the advice you give on the site so clear and to the point. It is great!

[JJ_00]

I know what you mean and have been concerned by these things he does if we were to get together.
But he can be so nice and caring when he is not acting like the above idiot.

I wondered if he was annoyed that our thing didn’t work out or thought I had rejected him and is reacting in this way? Some of my friends say this because he can be so good to me, in a way he is not like with other people.

Either way how should I deal with it? I have to see this man regularly and do not want to be treated like this if he is just doing it because he is an ass! If he is doing it because he is upset/annoyed at us not working out then I wouldn’t mind trying to work something out. Even if its just to clear the air so we can both move on.

Thanks!

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