[justasht]

Hi April, so she sent me the following text message today:

Wanna grab dinner tonight? I’m getting groceries at Trader Joe’s at the summit so just let me know when you’re free!

So, do I need to pick the place? Should I pick her up? Should I bring flowers?

What does this message mean? Does this mean that she is very interested in me? What does it mean that she invited me out? Or is this still a friend thing?

Ehat should I talk about to keep the conversation interesting? Should I keep it focused on her?

Woukd it be okay if I asked her,” so this counts as a first date right. Are you available this weekend for a hike and picnic? Should I bring up the date for this weekend?

[justasht]

Hi April, I am planning on getting her coffee tomorrow and seeing how she reacts.

1. How do I know what kind of coffee to get her? We have a small starbucks machine at the office and I was going to get her a cup, but I am not sure which one to get.
2. I don’t want to leave a sexy note, but I am not sure how to tell her discretely it was from me. What would be the best way to do so? Leave my initials somewhere on the cup? Or how about sending her a text telling her not to worry about coffee this morning? Do you think it is likely she will respond negatively to the coffee? The companies we work for are against flirting and I want to make sure it goes smoothly and discretely well.
3. I am going to try to ask her out either tomorrow or Tuesday, as she seemed to have something already planned last weekend that I wasn’t aware of when I texted her on Friday, so I am going to ask her out for next Saturday. I think dinner is too much, and I don’t think she would have fun, so I am going to go first for a hiking date

4. In regards to asking her out, I need to know exactly how to ask over the phone and in person, just in case I can’t speak to her in person. Can you provide a script for me for both methods?

Here is what I was thinking:
In Person: Hey Sarah, how’s your day going? Then I would ask, hey what would you say to going out for a date this weekend? I was thinking of going hiking at Red Mountain Park. What do you say?
Over the Phone: Hey Sarah, how’s it going? How was your day? Then follow the same line above?

What do you think about that?

[justasht]

Hi April, so as you predicted, I did send her a text message. I sent the following message and she responded:

Me: Hey Sarah, do you want to do something this weekend?
Sarah: Yeah, I’ve got plans to camp/climb in Chattanooga but if the rain forces me to cancel, we should do something in Bham!

Here are my questions:

1. What does this text message mean? Is she saying that I am her last resort? What does it mean in terms of me? Is she not interested in me anymore? Please interpret it for me

2. I am thinking of texting back the following,” Just let me know. I am working on Saturday during the day, but maybe something Sunday?”
How does this sound? Should I go ahead and send it?

3. I am thinking of asking her out sometime this week when it is just us maybe walking to lunch or at lunch. We do talk occasionally with short comments or small jokes, and I am thinking of getting her a coffee and just putting it on her desk for her as a surprise. Please answer this: If I am unable to talk to her in person, what would be the best way of asking her out? Be specific.

4. I am worried that she may not like the idea of dinner, as I don’t see her eating that much during the day. Do you think I should start with the hiking picnic and then the dinner? Or vice versa? What are your thoughts on this.

[justasht]

Hi again, I wanted to ask a followup to the previous question. You mentioned to flirt with her leading up to the date. My problem is that I don’t see her very much. When I come back for lunch, she has already gone to the cafeteria to get something and she comes back to eat at her desk. (she only gave me her phone number at a short conversation at the ice/water machine). So I don’t think I have much time to flirt with her during the day, and when I come back from the factory work, it is usually at or past 5. So I miss her at the end of the day. Are you sure I shouldn’t see if she is available this weekend for an activity to get some time to flirt with her then, and then move to the date next week? I am worried that I don’t have enough time to flirt with her during the week at work. And by the way, how should I flirt with her? How do I do that?

What about just taking a shot for an activity this weekend and seeing what happens from that response and going from there?

[justasht]

Okay, so here are my followup questions:

1.Are you saying that I should wait until next week to ask her out? If you are not saying to wait until next week, would it be ok if I ask her out this weekend if I can see her in person and ask her? If you are not suggesting to ask her out this weekend, would it be okay if I texted her to ask if she wanted to do something this weekend (not like a date) or do I still have to wait a week for that?

2. I also don’t think you answered my question about the selection of the date. Do I actually have to select the date location and tell her about it when I ask her out or can I like present two options like hiking and a picnic or dinner and a movie?

3. How do I word it like it’s a date? Like, if I were asking her out to dinner, I think she would know it’s a date. But if I ask her if she wanted to go to Red Mountain Park this weekend for a hike and picnic, she might think it is something we are doing as friends and not as a date. How should I word it so she knows it’s a date?

4. Do you have any ideas for a picnic? I have never done one of those before and I am not sure what to cook or include.

[justasht]

Hi April, in this post, I have questions about messages I sent her & the date. Please review the messages attached as a zip file.

Texts
1.So on Fri, Sat, Sun, I sent 5 texts. Yesterday, she told me that “she got all my text messages” & she went camping over the weekend and didn’t have coverage. She seemed pretty nice about it, but I felt bad b/c I think it made me appear desperate.
a. How do I recover? Am I freaking out, but in reality it is no big deal, move on?
b. I read that I shouldn’t make myself too available because it is a big turn off. I am thinking of giving it a two day or so break (Today (tues.) and wed.), and then ask her out on Thurs. or Fri. for Sat. night. Do you think this is a good idea to break from the mistake and see what I can do?

Date
1.Do you think it’s too strong to go right to a date like dinner or concert instead of an activity like the canceled concert at the park?
2.I am having a hard time choosing the date. Idk what kind of music she likes or food, so Idk what restaurant to select or a concert that she would like, but the concert last week was mostly classical but casual atmosphere.
a. You said last time I need to choose a date that makes her feel good about me. How do I know what spot will do this?
3.How do I know if she would be interested in going on a date or taking this further?

4.The only time that we see each other is for lunch like 2-3 minutes, & that is if I make it at the time she is walking there, as I would have to speak to her alone. If I can’t ask her out in person, how should I call her? What time should I call? What if she doesn’t pick up? Should I leave a voicemail or no? How should I ask her on the phone if I must?

5.Is it ok to ask her what places she likes or suggests because I am new to Birmingham?
a. Or must I find the place before I call her or speak to her?

6.Do you think age is a factoring? She is 23 and I am 21. Do you believe she thinks, I am younger & she only thinks of me as a friend or is she really attracted to me because she straight out gave me her phone number? Or is age irrelevant? Should it not matter because I am the guy & I have the take the lead here?

[justasht]

Hi April, well it turns out she suggested going out to a concert yesterday, which she canceled somewhat at the last minute because she had to go into work early, and so did I. I have attached the pictures of the texts I have sent her, so please make sure to check them out. Here are my questions:

1. For some reason she has not responded to my texts today and I need to know whether it would be okay for me to call her tonight, or is that too desperate? Should I wait until tomorrow to make any contact? I keep checking my phone for her to respond but I don’t want to lose her so I haven’t sent anything since 12:00 PM central. What should I do? Is there a general principle I should follow?

2. I have questions about a date. When we go out to an event, you suggested to bring flowers. You don’t think bringing a whole bouquet of flowers or roses is too much in front of a bunch of people?

3. And how do I know (and how did you know) that she likes me? How do I know if i can kiss her or hold her hand, and whether that’s okay and not too weird?

4. Is it okay to ask her out to dinner over text or should it be in person or on the phone? What is the best way to ask her out? Should I ask her out to someone more general like rock climbing or something else? Is dinner too forward at this point?

April, I could not attach each picture individually so I have emailed them to you. Please review them before responding!

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