kai

[kai]

In my opinion, if he liked you as more than a friend he would at least respond to your “Hi” messages. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’m a guy and I can tell you that if I liked a girl and she sent me emails saying “Hi”, I’d respond. I certainly wouldn’t ignore them.

[kai]

You seem like a very aware, intelligent and sensitive guy who really loves this woman. Unfortunately, you also (by your own admission) have a violent temper and have hit the woman you love so much. My suggestion would be to get yourself into some type of anger management counseling — one geared towards dealing with domestic violence. Once you’ve taken this step, perhaps you could ask her to attend some of the sessions with you.

I think you need to seek help for yourself as well as for anyone else you may become involved with. If you don’t, you will end up hurting someone with you going to prison.

[kai]

This woman is totally cheating on you. It could be with one man or with different men or with women, who knows. She’s not wearing sexy underwear to just feel sexy. That’s total BS!

My question is why is your wife going out to bars and to dinner so much without you? [b]Duh – THAT is a clue![/b] 😯 😯 😯

If you need evidence, follow her a few times and see for yourself. Unless you just want to keep your head in the sand and pretend you don’t know somethings not kosher? 😕

[kai]

It seems to me that if she’s always lying to you about things, especially the types of things you’ve mentioned — meeting up with her ex (the guy she was obsessed with) and hanging out with him, making plans to go to parties that you’re not going to etc, — that you should consider looking for someone else.

Find someone who wants to go to parties WITH YOU and who wants to hang out WITH YOU and who doesn’t do things she has to lie about TO YOU.

You deserve better.

[kai]

I’m a guy and I say give him another chance. Maybe he was just very nervous? That’s happened to me before.

Also, it’s possible that he didn’t ask you questions because he was trying to impress you by telling you stories about his life. That’s the reason he liked you so much, your questions made him open up and you acted interested in him.

I think you should give him another chance and if the 2nd date is as one-sided as the 1st, don’t go on a 3rd.

[kai]

I can understand you feeling nervous. No one enjoys breaking up (if it comes to that). On the other hand, it would be worse for you to sit around hoping something will happen, that never really will.

Bite the bullet and ask him. If it’s not gonna happen you’ve got to stop wasting your time and start looking for someone you can have a future with. 😉

[kai]

Something doesn’t seem right with this woman. She seems to have lots of male friends all of whom she cares more about maintaining her relationship with than her “boyfriend”.

In my opinion you’d be better off dating other women, both for yourself and to let her see what it feels like. I think there’s a good chance you’ll find someone you like better than this woman and you’ll definitely someone who will treat you better.

[kai]

Be careful. I think there’s a good chance that Josh wants you now because he doesn’t have you. Dan has proven that he’s a good man and a good father. Before you throw him away I’d make very sure that Josh is really going to be there for the long haul. I also think that there’s an element of Romeo and Juliet fantasy involved in your “love” for Josh. No relationship is perfect and while the grass may look greener on the other side of the fence — it may only be an illusion.

[kai]

RUN!

Why on earth are you even questioning what you should do? I don’t get it. 😯

This guy has shown you who he is and if you don’t want to be fighting all of the time, having sex just once a month and to be married to both this man AND his mother, what are you waiting around for? RUN!

Run as fast and as far away from this guy – and his mother – as you can! 😮

[kai]

You say you only want to be with your husband because of security, but you have put that security in jeopardy with your affair. Sooner or later he will find out and the longer you let this affair drag on the worse the outcome is going to be. If you think everyone is going to think badly about you because of a divorce, imagine what they’ll think when they find out about your affair. And they will.

I think you need to do some soul searching and decide what is most important to you for your life and your future. If you don’t think your marriage is going to work you need to face that issue and get divorced sooner rather than later. Whatever you do, do not have children. That would be a disaster.

[kai]

He sounds way too controlling and self-absorbed to me and I doubt he’s ever going to completely change his personality. If his behavior is like you’ve described, I suggest that you ask yourself why you are with someone like this. Don’t you think you deserve to be treated better and with someone who cares about your feelings – not just their own? 😉

[kai]

I’ve been there and know how hard this is. My suggestion is to give her space and to start dating new people, as hard as it might be. Chasing after her only makes you look desperate and needy and that turns women off. She needs to miss you and if you’re always around calling, texting, emailing, trying to see her or whatever she’s never going to feel what it would be like to lose you. Also, if she really wants to be with you in the future she’s not going to want to risk losing you by having you date other people. If she doesn’t care, she doesn’t care — and you need to move on. 😉

[kai]

I just read your article today “Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last,” and it really answered a LOT of questions for me! So much so that I wrote about it in my blog. (Yes, I gave you full credit) Anyway, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! I went from being the popular jerk in my earlier years, to the nice guy now, and I never could figure out just why I wasn’t as popular now when I’m essentially the same guy looks wise as before. Women just don’t respond the same way to me now as they did before and I’m sick of striking out.

Now this gives me something to work with.

Kai

P.S. If you read my blog entry, the wonderful girl I met when I was 30 was also named April.

http://onerabbitdesign.blogspot.com/

[kai]

I just read this article today after reading your post, and it really answered a LOT of questions for me. my experience is that it’s true. you really can’t show a girl how much you like her too soon or she will take advantage of you and put you in the ‘friends” category. i can’t tell you how many times it’s happened to me.

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