kitkat620

[kitkat620]

hi. there seems to be many times throughout the evening that she tried to be alone with this guy.
first off, she didn’t ask you to come along for a drink, you went uninvited. second, why doesn’t this guy have keys to his parents house (where he supposedly stays when he’s in town), and even if he doesn’t have keys, couldn’t he just call them to let him in? and again, she didn’t invite you back to her place, you assumed you were going and went. then she acts surprised when you say you’re staying? come on. it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that she wanted to be alone with the other man. could be they just had a lot to catch up on, which maybe she thought you would find boring, or could be something else.
i could be totally off base with my observances, you do, of course, know her, and i do not. I’m just saying, if i put myself in your position, i would definitely think something was awry.

[kitkat620]

“I love being single so much and I am having a blast. I mean I like him and I really enjoy hanging out with him but I don’t want to be anyone’s girl friend at this moment in my life. I’ve had a few boy friends in my life and never enjoyed being someone’s girl friend. Eventually, I want to get married and settle down but not now.”

I think the answer to your question is in the paragraph you had typed above. It’s simple, honest and to the point without being hurtful. It’s better to let him know now what your intentions are than risk hurting him more later on.

[kitkat620]

i know it’s been awhile since you posted, but i thought i’d give it a try and respond.
in my opinion this guy is giving you the runaround because he is not interested in continuing the relationship with you. Some guys think it’s easier for all involved to say things like ‘i don’t know what i want’ or ‘we’ll talk later in the week’ and not answer or respond to texts or phone calls, than it is to tell the truth. i think it’s cowardly, but i know i have done that too to guys i hadn’t had the heart to say i wasn’t interested in.
and to me, how convenient is it that on the weekends he won’t be out of town he has his daughter….come on! couldn’t he agree to talk at some other time during the week if he was really interested in working things out with you?
my advice to you would be to cut off all contact with him. no more apologizing, no more good morning texts, no more unannounced visits and no more phone calls.
there are a lot of men out there that will treat you so much better. don’t sell yourself short. you deserve better.
good luck to you.

[kitkat620]

Hi. I think this girl is just trying to be nice to you. It seems she likes your friendship but does not want it to go any further.
I am in a similar situation right now. I had met a guy and we hit it off, until the first date. He just wasn’t what I expected and I decided then and there that I could not take the relationship any further than friendship. We do text occasionally but I keep it brief because I don’t feel the same towards him as I did when we first met. I do not want to hurt this guy, so I do answer him but keep the answers short and to the point, just as this girl is doing with you.
I hope that by cutting the conversations short he will eventually get the hint and stop all contact. I am avoiding telling him I am not interested because I do not want to hurt or offend him.
I am not saying that this is the way this girl feels, I am just comparing it to how I am handling a similar situation.
Hopefully I am wrong.
Good luck.

[kitkat620]

[quote=”GeraldT1980″]i hate my friends, i hate most of them, i mostly dislike people around me, i hate peoples attitude and the way they react Their stupid retarted people that got no heart

i dont mean like . i hate every single one of you ..[/quote]

You need some professional help…..like, soon!

[kitkat620]

i may be wrong, but your attitude from your posts seems kind of nonchalant.like whatever she decides to do you’re ok with. you must be a very laid back person.
if it were me and my partner presented me with the situation you were presented with i would’ve hit the roof. the only reason i wouldn’t get too upset with it is if i really didn’t care enough to get upset. is that the case with you? do you feel this girl is just a stepping stone of all future relationships you might have until you find miss right?
at this point, i am just curious to what you feel. i hope i am not overstepping my bounds with questioning you and i am by no means trying to belittle your relationship or your feelings.

[kitkat620]

pity sex! gay sex! virginity sex! wtf! seems to me she’s just making excuses to have sex.
makes you wonder what other excuses will come up in the future.
can you live with the fact of her having sex with someone else? (because, after all, she [u]always[/u] keeps her promises…) if so, end of discussion. if not, tell her. if she still insists on doing it, dump her and find someone else. i personally couldn’t agree to it with someone i care about. and it would definitely make me question my relationship and what kind of person i am involved with.
things just seem very odd to me, or you are just very naive.

[kitkat620]

why didn’t you invite yourself? after being together for so many years you should feel comfortable doing that. if, after that, he acted like he really didn’t want you around, then i would start suspecting that something might not be right.

[kitkat620]

reading your story gave me a lump in my throat. i had been with a cheating husband for 20 plus years and i could feel the pain you are going through. the only way you will be able to trust your bf again is by him gaining your trust back, which he is not doing by continuing to have contact with the other girl. how did he meet this girl? do they work together? if so, i would insist he find another job. if he is truly serious about not wanting anything else to do with her and concentrating on making your relationship work.
one thing i learned throughout the years is to trust my gut feelings. if you feel something isn’t right, it usually isn’t. the only reason you are snooping is because he is not being honest with you and you know it. don’t let him try and convince you that you are doing something wrong. he is the one that is wrong, not you. if you felt secure in your relationship with him you wouldn’t snoop. he is getting defensive because of the guilt he feels.
unfortunately you cannot make him become the man you want him to be if he is not that man. he will only stop contacting this other girl if he wants to. and from what i read, i’m sorry to say, it doesn’t seem like he wants to.
being cheated on, by the one you love, has got to be the hardest thing a person can go through in a relationship. it took me years to realize that my husband will never change. when i finally accepted that, it gave me the strength and courage to leave and live my life for me. i am better and happier without him in my life.
you need to concentrate on making yourself stronger. for both your well being and your son’s. your son needs you now more than ever. don’t let a man that isn’t ready to face up to his responsibilities and settle down, ruin your self worth and prevent you from doing what’s right for you and your son.

[kitkat620]

i think it’s quite obvious. he only wants you for sex and he’s playing you. big time.
hold on to what little dignity you have left with this guy and forget him.

[kitkat620]

i’ll tell you what, if i find a recording of someone with their pants down on my partners phone i don’t know if there is any explanation that could right this wrong. how in the world did it get so far as to have his pants down?
good luck. you’re gonna need it.

[kitkat620]

it doesn’t take a genius to tell that she is coming on to you big time! what you should do, nobody can answer but you. if the risk of hurting your friend is higher on your list of priorities than getting laid i would say forget her. another point, she doesn’t seem to care what her son thinks by the way she is blatantly flirting with you while he is in the room.
i personally don’t think risking a friendship is worth the chance of a possible one night stand, unless of course, there is someway you can keep it a secret.
sometimes our minds are clouded by our hormones. sexual attraction is a very powerful emotion. it takes a strong person to resist a sexual advance no matter what the risks involved are.
good luck to you.

[kitkat620]

i really don’t know what kind of help you are asking for exactly. from what you said, all indications point to her liking/loving you. why do you feel things have changed? what makes you think her feelings have changed?
i’ve never chatted on facebook, but i’m assuming you can chat with different people at the same time. maybe the reason she doesn’t answer you immediately is because she is having conversations with other people as well as you.
i think you need to slack off a bit. just let things happen at their own pace and don’t rush things or pressure her anymore than you already are.
it seems to me you’ve continually asked the same question and she consistently gives you the same answer.

[kitkat620]

wow. if only you could be as tough with your boyfriend as you were in your reply to april’s post to your problem. her points are valid. as an adult no person can ‘make you’ do anything you don’t want to do. if there are physical threats behind his telling you what you need to do and how he feels you should live your life or spend your money, april is right, you have got to go to the police or at the very least, remove yourself from that situation by staying at a friends or family members house for the time being.
if you are as financially secure as you sound, you must leave. or kick him out of YOUR house. if he doesn’t leave, make it legal. get a restraining order against him.
if after only a year of dating, he is showing himself as the type of deprecating, cruel man that you’ve portrayed here, more time with him will only be more hurtful for you. you deserve better. and you will find someone that will give you the love you deserve if you give yourself the chance.

[kitkat620]

here’s what you do. leave him alone. do not call him. do not contact him in any way. he does not want to be with you. and to be honest, he has probably found someone else.
i am being so brutally honest with you because i have gone through many heartaches. and after each break up i also thought ‘i will never find someone like him”, when in reality why would you want to find someone who has hurt you so badly? you will recover. and you will find someone else. you may find a lot of someone else’s. that is life. life does go on. the sun will still rise and so will you. be brave and love yourself first. everything else after that will fall into place. believe me. it will.

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