kyle

[kyle]

another update:

Im not after free advice,but maybe my story will help someone else.I´m doing this my way,the only way I know.
Anyway,on tuesday we met as planned,and after saying hello and the usual small talk ,I told everything I had to say..
she didn´t take it well and was quite offended.She actually had a valid reason for cancelling,but why not tell me before??? I gave her my side of the story,remaining very calm,without being disrespectful.She reacted emotionally saying if she didn´t like me she wouldn´t have shown up.After 10 minutes she calmed down and started explaining what happened.(medical problems).
We still went on our date and had a good time although her body language was a lot colder than before.I don´t regret doing what I did;my message came through.However afterwards I started thinking and I GUESS she has (trust) issues.(former relationships?!).She`s sharing little information about really personal things,however there is progress. I asked myself the question :”Is she worth it?”
Following my gut,I `m not giving up,yet.(the thought has crossed my mind) `Like I´ve said before,I really like her and am gonna give her some more time.
If I´m seeing that progress is diminishing I´m gonna let her go…
thanks,
kyle.

[kyle]

No luck buying the book.However I´m gonna tell her to stop toying me around.I ve been doing a lot reading + thinking and kept asking myself why I´ve been obsessing about her.Didn´t come up with an answer though.Maybe it´s the loneliness after my divorce,I don´t know.Fact is that I´ve never been like that.(there have been other women before my ex-wife). Lowering my expectations has calmed me down and given me some perspective.
So I´m gonna do what my gut tells me to do:tell her that I´m not a puppy and I don´t like to be played.
May it´s gonna blow up in my face,so be it,there will be others.

I´ll post the outcome.

kyle

[kyle]

Maybe you should try my approach.Lower your expectations,it´ll calm you down.You´ll find out that she isn´t perfect.Try to live your life and make her come to you,don´t beg or pursue her.You have to give a little and she has to give a little.If it backfires,it wasn´t meant to be..

kyle.

[kyle]

An update :
Like expected,I had to wait quite a while to get an answer.I had decided to ask her out,but she couldn´t make it that day,only the day after.I decided to call her bluff…I replied that like this it wasn´t working out for me and thanked her for helping me.I ended saying have a good life.Within 10 minutes I got an answer,(fastest one ever) saying she had to take care of some business and only had time for me the day after(not too friendly).I didn´t accept her invitation, by not replying..
Two days later she texts me all friendly again,wishing me a happy new year and to meet again.
My reply:”Im gonna be at this bar next tuesday,at this time,it`s up to you to show up or not.”
Im scared this might backfire…Although I´m fed up of running after her like a puppy and that´s exactly what I´m gonna tell her too..

Any thoughts?

[kyle]

Check out my story too!

kyle

[kyle]

April,

I have tried but for some reason I can´t buy your book.I have tried with 2 different credit cards.I`ll see if I can get it tomorrow in a bookshop.Can you still give me some advice?

(you don´t need to put this post on your site)

Thanks
kyle

[kyle]

Thanks so far!

Let me ask a question:When she´s gonna text me to go out on a date at some bar at a certain time,what do I say?

-Instead of texting back I call her back.(I always preferred texting,it gives you more time to think and come up with the “right” answer).
-I agree right away with the date,time and place.
-I tell her ok but I prefer another or another place.
-I disagree with everything she proposes and set up a different date.
-I don´t return her text right away and give it a day or two.

What do I say:a,b,c,d or e bearing in mind all the things I´ve said so far?

Thanks!

[kyle]

Thanks for taking an interest,

I haven´t played this “game” in a long time,have been married for 16 years.
The thing is that I don´t wanna blow it,I really like her.Don´t wanna scare her off by trying to kiss her.I´m pretty sure we´ll meet again this week but she has to contact me!As much as it´s killing me,I´m gonna wait for her call/text.
just wish she would`t take so long!That´s why I feel she sending me mixed signals.She´s kinda shy,friendly,helpful,but still knows what she wants.Is this type of behavior “normal” for this kind of girl?

However let me clarify a few things:
after some digging on the net ,already quite a while ago,I figured out I am suffering from “mr nice guy syndrome” and I´m trying to deal with it.I´m not a severe case,I think,but still.On our dates I have opened up to her,completely,telling all about me and my problems.She has shared personal thing with me too,after all we aren´t complete strangers.I´m scared she just wants to be a friend.Nevertheless I haven´t been ambiguous about my intentions.After our second date i texted her: “I don´t know you very well,but I would like to get to know you better”.She replied wishing me a good night (nothing more) and 5 days later she texted me to have lunch.Now my question is:Have I been too much of a mr nice guy and should I flip things around.
Like I said she´s intelligent,determent,friendly,helpful but still a little bit shy.Another thought:I´m doing better now,thanks to her,I can probably “get away” with my vulnerability/neediness,due to fact that I was down.
How do handle this? Do I take charge or do I let her lead and tag along?What´s the best approach to this kind of woman.I don´t wanna blow this!!!

Any feedback would be more than welcome!

kyle.

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