[hoping]

In response to your questions – We are both in our 40’s. We’ve been places together and even though I wouldn’t consider them dates, we had a great time. I’ve been married before. He never has. I know you’re going to say that I should know all of these answers but I don’t. We’ve both been through some hurt in our past. He doesn’t tell me much about his but the little he has, it must have been very bad. He knows all about mine and we both know mine was worse. That’s one mystery. I had feelings for a man a couple of years ago. All I’m told now is all the reasons that man wasn’t good for me. He doesn’t even know him! Then there’s the famous line I hear all the time. “You don’t see some things that are right in front of your eyes.” When I ask him what it is I’m not seeing, he just chuckles. To me that comment could mean anything in life. We used to discuss anything and everything. I learned a lot from him. Now I have to be careful that I don’t bring up moving away or any man who I think has been nice to me. First he says that everything’s fine when I talk about either subject then after a few minutes, he seems to change his mind. He goes on and on why I have to be careful around people I don’t really know and how much my friends here would miss me if I moved away. I used to be able to talk to him about anything. Now he seems to get upset with those subjects. At first, that hurt but someone at work swears to me that this guy cares more about me than I know. She’s reliable and she always says that one day I’ll find out she’s right. That song I mentioned in my other post confuses me but if that’s what I have going on with him, I’ll be happy to wait. Thank you for reading this. I had no plans on ever getting involved with another man ever and if you knew why, you’d understand. Now I have this guy that I’m really starting to care for and every time I tell myself that I’m wrong, my intuition tells me that he does care. I don’t want to fool myself anymore. I do believe in fate but I didn’t think that it believed in me. There’s one more thing that really puzzles me. He says he hates it when I compliment his ways or something he’s done. Then he’ll remind me at times of what I said about him. I don’t need reminding of that. I’m the one that told him. But I tell him again because I like to. If you see something bad, tell me softly. I just hope you see just a sheer sign of hope. That’s all I need. Thanks again.

[hoping]

I know what you’re going to think when I tell you we’re both in our 40″s. I should know better. Yes, we’ve spent time together and even though it was absolutely wonderful, I don’t know if I’d consider it a date. Evidently, he has been terribly hurt in his past. He’s told me only a little bit of it and it wasn’t good. I can also say that I have been hurt much worse than him which he knows all about. For some reason, I’m willing to pick myself up and try again with him if that’s what meant to be. Is it true that women are stronger than men with these things? Or are we dumber because we pick ourselves up faster? I see him as being extremely cautious with people in general. And I mean cautious. Here’s another reason why I’m confused. He consistantly brings up my past relationships reminding me how I was misled. I was once married. He never was. One time, I mentioned to him that how much I cared about a man just a couple of years ago. He brought up every single reason why that man wasn’t good enough for me. He still brings that subject up to this day even when I ask him not to. I used to be able to talk with him about everything under the sun getting great advice. Lately, should I bring up anything, and I mean anything, that has to do with my possibly moving or any man that I think is just nice or has been nice to me, you’d think it was the end of the world. It didn’t used to be that way between us and I admit, it hurt. It wasn’t until someone at work let me in on the idea that he has real feelings about me. They’re very reliable and when I said they were crazy they’ve told me on several occasions that I will “find out they’re right one day.” Now what once hurt has turned to confusion. We are completely opposite when it comes to “feelings.” He laughs at me when I cry over a movie or a sad story. I feel like such a child wondering if the words to that song I’ve mentioned are true for him. To sum it all up, I don’t know what to think. The truth is that before he came into my life, I had no desire to ever get involved with anyone seriously again. If you knew why, you’d understand. Now there’s this man that has changed my thinking about that. There’s many more stories but I think I’ve said enough. Every time I tell myself to let it all go, he says something to make me think that fate is asking me to hold on a bit longer. Again, I should know better. I don’t. Thank you so very much for just reading this. It feels nice to get it all out. One more thing. He says “I don’t “see” what’s right in front of me. ?????

[hoping]

It’s not just his actions that are causing you to feel that way but I think that you may not have enough confidence in yourself. I believe that if you’re confident in yourself and it shows, it attracts more men than anything else. At least the right kind of men. Jealousy is in all of us. Confidence should be, too. Always be proud of yourself!

[hoping]

Thank you April. I will take your advice and stay quiet. When I told you that I’ve known him for 10 years, it was only at work. We really didn’t know anything about each other but we saw each other a couple of times a week. The last 3 years he became more interested in talking to me and everything just felt right. He’s far from average and not the type to really talk to anyone. I would have never realized it but he has the heart of a giant. I truly believed that I would never allow any man into my life again. (if only you knew why) And I know that he feels the same way about women. He’s not one to trust but he trusts me. And I was told by several people at work that he really cares for me. I’m just not that lucky to have a man like him in my life but I promise you that if he ever breaks out of his shell and maybe asks me out, I will tell you right away! It will be a dream come true for me! Thank you for taking the time for my problem! Hopefully I’ll be writing you soon!

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