ManUp2012

[ManUp2012]

Thanks for the ad plug…

I read half of it.

I’m well aware of what they want. Confident, Strong, etc. etc. I know I have to brush my teeth.

I’m a good-looking guy. I have a lot of friends who think I’m genuinely an awesome, fun, charming person. I’ve been on a number of dates, with a number of older women who are extremely attractive.
But, this one is different.

April, i’m sorry to sound a bit agitated, but I know what women want and look for. I am confident and am a great person. I just didn’t see the thing she said to me coming. I want to know how to proceed.

When we hang out tomorrow, I can’t have it look like a date anymore. The game has changed. She needs to see that I am a worthy of dating (which I know i am). I need to take it slow and build a relationship with her.

I’m asking you on how to proceed in that sense.

[ManUp2012]

So..i’m a bit gutted, but my sister has told me not all is lost.

As per the last conversation, the girl canceled plans for this past weekend due to an emergency.

However, this past Friday, she texted me saying that she ended up staying in town so if i’m around, shes down to hang out. I couldn’t hang out anymore but after a talk on Saturday, we talked about hanging out Thursday (she even said if anything, we could always get coffee and study together). Again, the conversations were light and sweet.

Today, I called her to solidify plans, and the girl basically dropped the ball on me and said “I want to make it clear that I just see you as a friend and i’m not interested at all.” I was taken aback..and replied, “like.. not interested ever?,” she sighed and sort of chuckled and said I don’t know.

After stumbling with some words, i confidently said “look, I know you just got out of a relationship, and i’m not an idiot and I wasn’t planning on going crazy the first time we hang out. But you’ll see i’m an awesome guy and give me a chance to show you that i’m a great guy. lets take it slow, and just have a good time.” She agreed and then offered to do a late dinner. I turned her down and said to just have a coffee and desert.

I’m still holding on to some hope… I told my sister the situation, and she said if I want her, I have to play this game for probably months and it could break my heart if, in the end, she still says no.

This is the first time in 5 years I’ve felt so strongly about a girl. i’m not ready to just give up. Even my sister (who ended up marrying the guy who she said no to the first few times he asked her out) told me to not give up yet.

April, help me make this happen. I know i’m probably way over my head at this point. But, this girl is worth it and I honestly believe its something worth fighting for.

[ManUp2012]

Haha thanks for the personal touch

In hindsight, I think it was better for me to stay away from the garden rules cos that just got me more worries. in the general sense, 3 and 4 are a check, 2 I have no idea, and 1 has been in the 3 to 3.5 months timeframe.

[ManUp2012]

Sorry April,
I don’t think my question was answered.. =/

There are a number of articles online showing signs when you are the rebound guy/girl. However, I have yet to see one that shows that you’re not the rebound guy, even if it the first person someone is seeing after a break up.

[ManUp2012]

or should I be flirting more through a text message here or there?

Alright..i’m done with my stream of thoughts.

[ManUp2012]

Or am i not showing enough interest?

[ManUp2012]

Thanks April. I’m actually not too afraid of entering the friend zone at this point (call it a new sense of confidence or whatever) – at this point she can tell i’m interested in her and it looks like she’s willing to let me chase her (from what I can see)

But I do have one thing nagging me and its probably me thinking too much into everything (again, clearly i’m in an irrational state of mind).

I called her today to solidify plans (I told her I’d call her Wednesday to figure out plans last week). Unfortunately she won’t be able to go out this weekend cos she has to go back home for the weekend due to a family emergency in Miami (we both go to school in ATL).

She did however say we should reschedule for next week. I told her next Saturday would be good and she agreed. I told her again I would call her some time next week to figure out the time, etc.

Am I looking too needy or desperate by keep on initiating the phone calls? This phone call was the first after 4 days, and the one before that was about 2-3 weeks before… I haven’t talked to her

Someone console me, tell me to chill out, or show me some tough love.

[ManUp2012]

Called her the other day. We had a great light conversation and she sounded delighted to hear from me. Then I somewhat shyly asked her if she still wanted to hang out. She replied with a “YEAAHHH” and we’re going to hang out next Sunday. I told her i’ll call her next week sometime to solidify plans.

I basically have one huge fear at this point, and I need to do this right. I don’t want to be the rebound guy.

Advice on how to approach?

Thanks guys.

[ManUp2012]

Thanks for the reply April!

I was wondering currently if i’m in a neutral position, positive position, or already fighting an up hill battle?

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