[Silver Surfer]

[color=#0000FF]Thanks for the reply 🙂 I think that one of the biggest reasons that I am reluctant to just cut off the communication is because that was another one of her issues with me when we were together. She often complained that she would try and call me and I would not always pick up the phone if I was not busy or let her know I was even thinking about her by sending her a txt..etc.

It seems if, I at least acknowledge her contact now I am maybe reasurring her that I am not ignoring her which she felt I was doing in the past. That irritated her to no end!

I need to hear all the feedback I can on this and greatly appreciate it! I am just as mixed up as she is. I am trying to somehow validate my actions based on her past needs. Its as though, I am trying to compensate for the things I did not always do in the past with her. My fear is if I were to just not contact her for a while and/or ignore her txts and calls she will think I dont care anymore and that will push her away even further.

I am a love sick fool. I am trying to be a nice guy. [b]I am a nice guy![/b] I just don’t want to be played because of my honesty and sincerety. So where I am at now is…I will usually wait until she txts me or calls me before I respond.
Today she txt me and said she was thinking of me. Yesterday, I had txt her asking her if she had thought of me during the day. She is away for the holiday with her family and is not with her new guy this weekend.

She replied yesterday that she really didn’t think about me too much because she was with her family and “in the moment”.
I can be busy and in the moment and still think about someone I still care about and miss.

So here is another example of [b]Mixed messages[/b]…She often expresses she still loves me…thinks about me and misses me yet when I ask her about it sometimes she plays it down as in the example of yesterday.

Today she txt me twice to say..”[i]Thinking about you![/i] and then later in the evening..She txt [i]“it happened again”! [/i]I replied …[i]What?[/i] She txt back saying,”[i] I was thinking about you again”[/i]. It almost seems as though she will only express on her own terms. If I were to say it she might not recipicate right away. Leaving me to wonder.

Am, I insane here? I just want to know if this 40- something woman (surprising?) is playing games with my head or she truly is sincere and this is just her way of showing it at the present because she is in involed with someone?

By the way..Whenever, I refer to [b]the man [/b]she is in this relationship with..she takes the defensive and remarks that he is [b]NOT[/b] her man but they are just having fun claiming they have different ideas on things and different interests.

Why would she tell me one minute how wonderful he is and how great he makes her feel and then flip flops to down palying the situation to .[b]Quoting her[i].”We are just dating Now” “It may never work”[/i][/b]

Tonight I was txting her after she said she was thinking about me. I replied and started getting deep into my own emotions about always thinking about her..being attracted to her..etc.. She replied, [i]“Why does everything get so deep when we communicate”?[/i] When, I mention perhaps she doesnt think of me as much is because of the simple fact she is involved with another man.

She fired back with..[i]quote,.”You make up things..You have no idea what I feel or think”! Quote, “You shouldn’t assume what I feel” [/i] This was all in reference to what I said regarding my thoughts on possibly why she is not as expressive right now because she is in another relationship however you want to define it? “It is what it Is”

If I was in another relationship I doubt I would be thinking about my ex all the time. This is why I choose not to jump into any rebound relationship. I am trying to heal my wounds without complicating matters more by “instant gradification”. I have been going to counseling to better myself..for myself and I am making affirmative steps to inner self growth..Loving myself!

Counselers don’t focus too much on what is going on here but more so “How I feel?”

I am not sure what I feel kiddies?
Confused…hopefull…wondering if I am an blundering idiot? (laughing)
I mean lets get real here! we all own our feelings. I cant put all blame on this girl for what I am experiencing…again its my choice to stay in it.
I need some more additional support on what I really should be doing in this situation.

All feedback helps…It is really nice to have this type of support team on this forum. I am better able to look at things from others perspectives objectively.

Lastly, I kind of feel like a little puppy who someone is throwing little scraps too once in a while yet, I am sitting there still wagging my proverbial tail waiting in hopes for the next mind treat.

Thanks again…for the responses…I am so greatful I discovered this forum.[/color]

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