Hi April,
Thank you for the response. You bring up good points. I’m bringing more context to the table: he is a pansexual man, and he’s had sex with lots of people in the past. He was honest about that, and I accept it. He is very libidinous in nature and can get quite dirty which I know.
The sexting thing is not new though: he used to do it when he was single too, posing as a girl and hitting up multiple guys. I thought this was a thing of the past though so when I found out about his new account a few weeks ago I was unhappy. After I talked to him he said it isn’t cheating because he’s not sexting as himself; he will never meet those guys because his secret will be out otherwise; porn doesn’t quite do it for him because of the fantasies in his head; and it’s just a quick masturbatory scenario. However, I think it’s deceitful to the guys he’s chatting up especially because he sometimes pretends he’s 15!! That’s icky even if it’s just a sex chat. And he does it sometimes while I’m in the room chilling or working. I don’t find that super respectful. Also he’s been job hunting for months and sent out applications (more like years but he’s started again a few months ago. I work and my income is barely keeping us afloat) but with no success. I think to myself “Maybe if you spent less time on your account sexting and a little more time submitting apps, it would help.” Because he does spend more time on that damn porn account than I would like.
So there it is. I love him with all my heart and I accept he is not your average Joe. He is amazingly intelligent, kind, funny, and we share a lot of interests. He helped me heal from an abusive household (my mom had narcissistic paranoia and my father was an enabler). I really don’t want to have to break up with him because in essence he makes me happy. But if what he’s doing is truly reprehensible and speaks of much deeper issues, I don’t want to enable his behavior
