ThinkingRight

[ThinkingRight]

You’re absolutely right, his story is total BS and doesn’t make sense. Trust your instincts.

[ThinkingRight]

A lot of women when they feel guilty try to avoid the guy they had the fling with. She probably also worries that if she’s friends with you people (and especially the boyfriend) will suspect something has gone on. Basically, I think she avoids you so that no one has any reason to think you two hooked up. I’ll bet you the boyfriend doesn’t know and that she doesn’t want him to know and that’s why she’s keeping her distance.

[ThinkingRight]

Just keep doing what you’re doing and do not chase him. He likes the fact that you’re different and not acting like a groupie like all the other women.

[ThinkingRight]

Sounds like this relationship has a lot of problems. For me personally, I wouldn’t want to be with someone I had bad sex with, especially when they’re telling me they’re not sure if they love me.

I suggest you find some one who KNOWS they want you and love you, who you have good sex with.

[ThinkingRight]

The best thing you could do is find a way to move out even if that means moving in with a friend or your parents and to make yourself unavailable to him. This will help him clarify his feelings and what he really wants. When you’re always around, he can’t miss you and take you being there for granted. If you leave, he’ll suddenly realize how much he misses you and wants you back.

If he doesn’t, he was never going to anyway and at least you’ll stop wasting your time. Should that happen he can buy you out ofthe house, or you two can sell it. As bad as that may sound, delaying your life is not the answer — it’s a waste of precious time.

[ThinkingRight]

I give you credit for sticking it out. I don’t know if I could have.

It sounds to me like you need to have a discussion with your husband about pulling his weight and about him starting to understand that there are 2 people in the relationship — not just him and his needs and wants.

He needs to step up to the plate and start trying to make his devoted wife happy and start taking care of her needs or he might not have her to take advantage of anymore.

[ThinkingRight]

Sooner or later all guys have an issue, the important thing is how you (as a woman) handle it and him. What’s more curious to me is why you think it’s such a big deal that “you had to” give him a bj to get things going… I don’t think there’s a guy on the planet who doesn’t like that and maybe the women his was with previously knew that and acted accordingly.

[ThinkingRight]

Maybe he is stressed out due to money or work issues? This can kill a guys libido. If this is the cause, it’s unlikely return until the problem eases and if this is the cause more pressure from you isn’t helping.

On the other hand, definitely do not marry a man you’re not sexually compatible with, you’ll only end up cheating and then divorcing.

I suggest you move out and see if your sex life with him returns. If not, start dating other people and find someone your more compatible with.

[ThinkingRight]

It comes down to your values and your feelings about right and wrong… As I see it, if you do not expose him then you are enabling him.

If it were me, and Olga were my friend, I would.

[ThinkingRight]

This guy is a piece of garbage and he’s treating you like crap. Dump him!

If you decide to move forward and have the baby, hopefully he’ll step up and be a father to the child and pay child support, but as far as a relationship between you and him — forget it! He’s demonstrated already what he’s going to do and you have to accept it or move on.

[ThinkingRight]

I think you have your answer. This is not going to work out. If he has small children, he will be unable to fully commit to you. Even if he wants to totally commit to you, he will always be charged by the court to take care of these children. You should move on unless he is a fantastic person with financial resources that are unaffected by the $400/week. He will have no choice with the kids, talking to the ex-wife is totally unacceptable. He should only speak to her as a way to arrange time with the children. Also, I think that all weekend is ridiculous with the kids. How about a day or less.

[ThinkingRight]

You seem to have some real emotional problems. A serial cheater, lying, breaking up another family, deceiving another person, and putting them at risk for disease — just for starters. Assuming that the married man has any redeeming qualities is questionable; clearly if you start a relationship cheating it will not change. The most important thing in society is acting responsibly to your children and partner, he sounds like a “roided out” loser. You should straighten yourself out first then worry about a relationship. I had a similar experience with a loser like you and you kind of women will not take any advice unless it aligns with what you want to hear. I should have put all of her crap out on the street too.

[ThinkingRight]

Don’t you think you should make every effort to understand the father of your children rather than finding out about what Bill is thinking. You have made a decision to bring children into the world, their stability and happiness is the most important thing. Not what Bill is thinking… [b][u]Do you actually think he wants some other guys three children?[/u] [/b] [b][u]Wake-up![/u][/b] Focus on what is most important the remaining well being of your family.

[ThinkingRight]

I am sorry for your troubles, however, you have a responsibility to treat people with honesty and dignity. Not to mention yourself. You are on a descending spiral that requires real discipline and effort to get yourself straightened out. This has very little to do with your boyfriend. This is about your behavior, not his, so he can’t fix it. Living with your Mom and getting therapy is a good start to recovery. Leave the man alone, let him move on and once you get yourself straightened out then call him.

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