sugarlessgirl

[sugarlessgirl]

Hi April, so on our last date when we were about to part ways at the bus stop, I kissed him on the cheek and feeling a bit cheeky, I said that I always had the urge to kiss him on the cheek. He then asked me, “Kiss?”. Not really knowing how to react, all I could manage was an OK and we had a very short peck on the lips. Out of slight embarrassment I teased him a bit more and said, who asks for a kiss, you should try to read the moment, and his reply was, well, it’s a bus station, a bit hard to read the moment (presumably because there were other ppl waiting for the bus there?). I’m not too sure what to make of the kiss, tbh. Just getting more lost.

[sugarlessgirl]

Hi April, I’ve never really been able to flirt because I’ve just never really been the feminine kind. I feel like I would become awkward 😕 How would I flirt to say that I’d want to kiss?

[sugarlessgirl]

Hi April, so I think the date went pretty well, had dinner and just walked around a big park and chilled. I was quite happy about it because I was afraid that it’d be a little awkward given that we were friends for so long but it wasn’t awkward. There’s been this other question bothering me. Is it necessary to kiss within the first few dates? The reason I ask this is because, I think that we’re still slowly trying to transition from being friends to a couple and so I don’t really think a kiss would happen any time soon. But this question concerns me because I’ve read a few articles and forums about it being important to kiss early in the relationship.

[sugarlessgirl]

Hi April! Thanks for the advice. I am aware that I can over analyse things but that’s also because I’m so inexperienced that I’m not sure what signs to look for. Anyway, I didn’t have to prompt him for a ‘date’, he asked me if I was available for dinner tomorrow. I wanted to tease him a bit so I asked if he was asking me out on a date to which he replied with something along the lines of ‘you could call it that’ and then followed up on it saying that he just wanted to relax after a super busy week. So, um, positive sign or negative sign? 😕

[sugarlessgirl]

[quote=”HellenAllen”]You’re still young, go to a date, don’t miss your chance, but don’t take everything to heart after the first dating, then to not be hurt! Don’t think that will be in future, live now![/quote]

It’s because I’m young and inexperienced that I feel more vulnerable. Which then leads me to become more sensitive to a lot of things because I just want to protect myself.

[sugarlessgirl]

Hi April, thanks for your reply. You’re right, of course deep down I would have wanted him to say yes but I’m a bit of a realist (or pessimist), however you see it, and I felt that it was more likely he would say no. So what I mean by I wanted a solid ‘no’ was that, I was aware that he would probably say no even if I wanted him to say yes and that was a form of “closure” for me. That I would be able to get a reply, any reply, and that I won’t ever have to think about the ‘what if’ questions further down the track.

And what kind of actions should I be looking out for that show that he is interested in working towards a relationship with me? I’ve noticed that he’s already done little things for me and it may be silly or naive of me to think that way, but those actions comfort me that he might be trying. So for example, when we were friends we used to message each other on Facebook but after dating he started texting me instead and this was because he knew that I preferred texting over Facebook. And he’s also initiating conversations everyday.

Maybe it’s a cultural difference or something but neither of us really get how multi-dating or non-monogamous relationships work.I spoke to him about what kind of relationship he wanted at the beginning and he said he wanted to date to work towards a long-term relationship. He’s also okay with letting his own friends and our mutual friends know that we’re dating. I also confirmed with him whether it was okay for me to introduce him as a boyfriend and he was comfortable with it. So exactly what kind of relationship are we in if he’s doing this and might be interested in another girl?

This is both our first time dating someone, he’s 24 and I’m 23, so I’m still very new to this world.

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