SweetGirl28

[SweetGirl28]

I thought I just did?

[SweetGirl28]

Also, I’m 28 and he is 30.

[SweetGirl28]

Dear April,

I recently met this guy from an online dating app in person. He is an expat in my country and pretty new to everything. Our conversation went well. In fact, he offered me a second drink but we had already been in the bar for one hour and a half so I said thank you but maybe some other time – the bar was closing too btw.

He offered to drive me home but I only lived a block away so I said thank you but I’m glad to walk. He gave me a hug and we parted ways.

About an hour after we said bye, I sent him a text telling him that I hoped he got home safe and that I had a good time. He didn’t respond until the next day and it was something along the lines of “Good! It was nice to meet you and visit a town I hadn’t been to before”.

I didn’t respond to that since there wasn’t any question or incentive to keep the conversation going. However, I did text him a couple of days later that I had come across something from his country and I asked him if he knew the product. He said he didn’t but that he will look it up at home since he was on a work trip. Again, not much “movement” going on.

Today, about a week after the date, I texted him asking if he knew city X and if he had been there yet. My intention is to ask him to join me so I can show him around. I haven’t heard from him yet but he seems to have the habit to wait until the next day to respond. I also know he is still abroad right now.

Anyway, these signs are telling me he could be stringing me along. On the other side, he did seem very shy. After he asked me out on that app, I didn’t hear from him for 5 days so I decided to hit him up to see if the date was still on or not. His tone seemed nervous at the time but he did show up. I’m not sure what to make of this. Disinterest but too polite to tell me off? Stringing me along? Shy?

What should I do?

Thanks!

P.S.: This is a different guy than the one I posted about before.

[SweetGirl28]

Thank you, April!

I may have forgotten to add that he was the one that brought up the marriage talk. It was his idea to file for the necessary paperwork, and we completed the file together. He kept pushing for us to get married. He suddenly changed his mind right after filing those papers. I feel like he is making excuses to cut me out of his life since I might be an extra stress factor in his life especially with the distance between us. However, that distance problem would have been resolved as soon as the paperwork would have been processed.

[SweetGirl28]

Update: he broke up with my over email. He said that he enjoyed our time together but that he doesn’t see us work out in the long run. He says things might turn around in the future but for now he thinks it’s for the best that we break up and stay friends. He also said that I must understand that he wants to neglect his personal life so that he can make a good career.

I haven’t talked to him in days. I don’t want him to string me along but at the same time I don’t know what to make of this. We have had such a stable, trusting relationship. We never fought over anything. He still has to give me some my stuff back.

April, what advice do you have for me? Thank you!

[SweetGirl28]

Thank you, April!

We are 28 and 29. We see each other every 2-3 months in person but we talk on a daily basis.

[SweetGirl28]

(This is about a different guy than my former message.)

I met this guy a couple of months ago very briefly and since we live a couple of hours away from each other, we kept in touch through text messaging and video chats. Although I wasn’t interested in anything else but a friend I could talk to from time to time, he seemed to like me a lot as time progressed. He would send me expensive gifts, send me text messages asking how my day was going and telling me how pretty I am, etc

A couple of days ago, he came over and we hung out. I ended up spending the night with him, but since he seemed so eager to have sex with me, I tried to resist him. The day after we had a lot of fun together and he brought up the topic of a serious relationship. I said I was open to that and he invited me for another date a couple of days later. I want to mention that throughout our time together he kept telling me how hot I was which I found to be inappropriate. It made me think he might be after sex only but, if that is the case, I don’t understand why he would shower me with expensive gifts and clothing.

However, since I hadn’t heard from him in a couple of days, I decided to text him four days after our date asking if he had time to call me but he said he didn’t and that he would call me the next day which he didn’t. This has happened quite a few times before so I didn’t think much of it.

The day on which we were supposed to go out on a date passed without him contacting me. It seems like he went completely cold on me and – as many women probably would – I keep wondering what I might have done wrong to scare him away. After all, I tried to keep an open mind during our whole friendship/relationship and he was the one bringing up the serious topics. I expressed to him that I am not looking for a fling, but that I want to take things as they come and not force anything on anyone. He said he was ok with that and that he wanted to try that with me one day at a time.

This whole situation is confusing me. Any advice? I would like to hear what outsiders think of this. Thanks.

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