I’m going to be very blunt here.
This man is not ready for a new relationship. Before he can move forward with you or anyone else, he needs to end his sexual relationship with the ex. They have children together, so yes, they will always be bonded by that, but there are no excuses for having sex with the ex. He was not forced to have sex with her. She may have been aggressive, but he could have walked away if that’s what he wanted to do. He made a choice and he didn’t choose you.
Your relationship with him is too new for either of you to have developed “deep” feelings for one another. You may be very attracted to one another and you may be sexually compatable, but that does not equal a relationship.
My advice to you is to end it now. If he wants you, he will do everything he can to win you back. You are worth this effort. If he doesn’t pursue you, it wasn’t meant to be; at least not at this time.
Focus your energy on loving yourself. You may even want to seek some therapy in effort to better understand why you chose to be with an unavailable man to begin with.
Trust me – I’ve been on both sides of this kind of situation – I’ve been the new girlfriend and the ex. The only one who gets any satisfaction is the man.
