terriblytorn13

[terriblytorn13]

It does help, thank you. Any advice on how to make sex seem real or appealing with someone who right now doesn’t turn me on at all?

[terriblytorn13]

I think cheating is anything that your partner does that they know will leave you feeling hurt and betrayed. For one couple cheating may be going all the way for another it might be excessive flirting. For you it might be online sex chats. I think if he was not aware that this would leave you hurt and betrayed then you gotta tell him and try to work through it. If he knew you’d be hurt and was hiding his actions sounds like cheating to me.

[terriblytorn13]

I’m not sure what how to answer that question. I look at my relatinship and the most damaging thing I see that I’ve done is let stuff slide. All these years I’d be frustrated pulling most of the weight but only complaining a little and never putting my foot down. I’m finaly disgusted by it. I almost think I could be more OK if he would be respectful and greatful for the effort I put in and not turn on me in a flash. I try my best to be friendly and loving while I work full time, take care of 90% of the house work and take care of the kids until they go to sleep then either try to exercise or handle something around the house. I do try to be nice, I do put myself together nicely. I do have a problem right now showing physical affection to him because between being so tired he just doesn’t turn me on. I guess right now he seams more like another kid than my man. If he could do better it would free up time, lift my spirits and maybe make him more appealing to me.

[terriblytorn13]

My fiance is not pulling his weigh in our household. It makes me depressed and resentful. I’m not sure how to encourage him to do better. He still says he loves me, thinks I’m beautiful and desirable. However he doesn’t take care of the housework. He doesn’t participate in our household finances unless it’s to spend. He is a stay at home Dad and I work full time. How can I get results without being a nag and triggering a fight.

[terriblytorn13]

You should talk to him. Engage him in conversation. Maybe invite him to an event. Your body language should let him know you’re interested. I hope you get a chance to get to know each other. My word of caution is don’t commit now. Give yourselves time to grow and explore. It’s a big world check it out.

[terriblytorn13]

Thank you for giving me advice. These tough words are probably exactly what I need to do. I do want to clear up that my fiance is the father of both of my kids. My kids are very happy, healthy and well mannered. He is a good Dad. I spend time with them every day and work full time. I’m the only income for my family and have been for years.
My lovers kid is from a previous marrige and is only with him occasionally. He and his wife been married only about two years. I’m not the first girl he’s kissed but I am the first he flew to to have an affair with.

I’m holding down a lot here and I’m just trying to feel special and loved while I take care of my real life.

[terriblytorn13]

You are so strong to be working through this situation. I do feel terrible when I think of how hurt his wife would be if she found out. When my fiance finds out he will also be heart broken. I’m hurt my fiance doesn’t care to be an equal part of our relationship. We partied a lot over our 15 years togethe. It wasn’t till the partying ended and that the lack of balance in our reltionship started to take it’s toll. It’s a lot of hurt. I know I’m not the one. My lover has one child from a previous marrige. His current wife wants a baby and I feel like I’m part of the reason he is not wanting to have one now. They have beenmarried two years and he has kissed several other women but not yet gone all the way with any one but me. I wonder why me. He could have an affair with a woman who lives closer. He spent hundreds of dollars to come visit me. I know things can’t go on like this. I’ll be working a little at a time to clean up the mess i have made.

[terriblytorn13]

After I read your advice my heart sank. I’ve been moping around like a heart broken teenager who just got dumped. I haven’t been able to keep from crying at every love song. My lover is on a trip with family and he can only send me texts. He sends me love songs and tells me how he misses my kisses and my embrace. My financee watches me clean and cook but tells me how much he loves me and that even after 15 year
s he would still hit on me if he didn’t know me. It’s weird to be so saddened by this. I hope i csn do the right thing

[terriblytorn13]

Thank you for the advice. It’s tough to face making such hard changes. I’m not sure I can do it right away. I’m going to try. I think I’ll stay in touch with the other guy. I wish I could explain how unique I believe our match is but it would take a long time. I plan on cutting back on how often we talk. I’ll try to let you know how it goes.

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