The_Jester

[The_Jester]

Remember – there’s a difference between loving someone, and loving an idea.

For you it sounds like the latter.

Anytime you require someone else to change in order to be happy with them (i.e. stop drinking, stop being abusive, etc.) it’s already over.

You’re worth more than this so don’t treat yourself like you must endure such chaos in order to be loved. If the temptation continues, you might need to seek some professional guidance from a therapist but investing in yourself is always a good thing.

[The_Jester]

Double standards are never good. She does not have the right to enforce rules that she breaks.

Both of you are entitled to true happiness, however you define that. Point out the reasons both of you are unhappy with one another, then make sure it’s mutually agreed that seeing others is in everyone’s best interest. I’d leave it at that because there’s no reason your old relationship must meet your new one. And do not forget child support. This is your kid’s future.

If she lacks the stability to support herself, present her with a list of remedies ranging from job suggestions to unemployment. Then map out what you feel is an appropriate due date for the two of you to move into separate residences.

Your child need not be burdened by the drama you two are causing by ignoring the obvious signs that this relationship is over. And make sure you be as diplomatic as possible for the kid’s sake. Fair custody arrangements can be made without the hassle of hiring lawyers. The child needs both parents.

[The_Jester]

You’re not the Relationship Police.

If they choose to proceed, that’s up to them.

Should your friend ask what your thoughts are on revealing her deceit prior to the marriage, be honest. Otherwise, sit back and remain a spectator rather than a participant.

[The_Jester]

Sounds like you’ve done all you can. You apologized after the truth came out. Now the ball is in his court.

Should he choose to move on, just take from this the lesson that honesty is the best choice next time.

[The_Jester]

There’s a multitude of reasons why she may be doing that.

Perhaps she wants nothing but a friendship right now. Maybe she’s being cautious and wants to meet in a social group first.

The more important thing is you stop guessing why and just adjust your behavior. She will come around if she’s interested. Don’t over-do the communication. Give it a week, deal with other priorities, occupy yourself. Then text or call and make sure you’ve made your interest known.

She’ll give you her reply. If she rejects you, so what. Billions of other women exist.

[Author]

Posts