Dear April,
I appreciated your response. However, things seem to have taken on a new twist.
Although things are fantastic now, my boyfriend says that, ultimately, he just doesn’t know if he is ready to settle down. He has been in one long term relationship (and one marriage) after another his whole life, and he wonders if he should spend some time alone or just dating people for a while. He says he loves me but wants to be fair with me, because he knows that I previously wasted 9 years in a relationship that went nowhere, and want to find someone to spend my life with. He is not sure if he can commit to that.
However, he is still unsure. He knows that if he loses me, he loses me forever – I will not go back to him and will just move on.
I got a little upset over this on Sunday. Basically, I asked him if he was cheating on me (he said he wasn’t, and I believe him – I was just be mean) and I kind of accused him of lying to me. Up until February, all he did was talk about how he was totally in love with me and would love me forever, how I was everything he ever wanted, etc., and we always talked about the things we wanted from life and the things we wanted to do – together.
We left off that we would not make any snap decisions. I told him that the only things I asked of him were that he have an open mind and that he be relatively sure of what he was doing. In the 2 days since that time, he has been a little distant. He snapped at me about something stupid yesterday – I interrupted him when he was reading something. I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know if I should try a little bit more toward working things out, or just up and leave.
