Celeste

[Celeste]

It sounds to me like there are no mixed signals at all. The kissing on the forehead is just a sign of affection. My boyfriend does it to me, but he also kisses me on the lips too. Its just like any other kiss, affection. Also, when he doesn’t directly state that he was out with another girl and saying a friend instead could very easily just be a way to prevent you from being jealous. While idealy girls shouldn’t have problems with their guys hanging out with other girls that are friends, it’s not an ideal world, and jealousy is something that lies in everyone, just different things trigger it. And with girls, it can often times be other girls. So it sounds like he’s just keeping from hurting you or making you jealous over something that is not meant to be thought of that way.

Also, he is simply asking how your day was to start conversation, show that he actually cares how your day was. I would be more suspicious or offended if he didn’t ask, it means that he really doesn’t care at all! The keys thing could just be a slip of memory for him, but nothing to really look into, imo. To me, it sounds like you have a guy who is crazy about you, you don’t have anything to worry about!

[Celeste]

[quote=”Guest”]There has been new developments as i got home tonight from work i noticed she was on facebook, and i saw the chat window open to him there was no messages just a blank screen then a second later he typed “i know”. So in general conversation i asked “what does he know?” she said “i dunno and once again i can’t check cos facebook keeps deleting it.” i wanted to scream out YOU LYING COW but i kept my cool. We are going out with a few friends tonight including him to celebrate a birthday, so as she was in the shower i checked his facebook and saw the entire conversation. (i will use S for her and H for him) S- i miss u x. H- me too x. S- when are we going to make time for each other. H- im rarely free these days. S- we need to make a day soon when both of us are not workingxxx. *delete* H- i know Then after we were both ready i went downstairs and she said that when she was talking to him they where talking about plans for tonight and how they are all going horribly wrong and that is probably what he was saying i know to. I have her red handed i’m reaching my boiling point but i must wait. I am sorry to say that am not the perfect man i’ve made myself out to be i was not the best boyfriend in the world i sometimes didn’t listen and other times was annoying as a fly buzzing in your ear. So i understand why she has done this to me but do not think that what i’ve done justifies her cheating. If i had cheated then i wouldn’t have been able to lie and we’d have split up long ago.[/quote]

Don’t for a second think that this is YOUR fault! She has a choice, she is in complete control of her actions. She IS taking advantage of you, lying to your face, and cheating behind your back. She didn’t have to do any of this. If she respected you AT ALL she would have done the mature and right thing by ending things with you FIRST. But instead, she has done all this, which has hurt you. Don’t blame yourself for anything. No one is perfect, okay? No one, and no one deserves to be treated the way she has treated you. End of story.

[Celeste]

Without a doubt, its a CHOICE.
I don’t believe that we are just given things in life. I spent years believing in destiny and it got me…well nowhere. I was unhappy, single, and found that my life was going nowhere. My life didn’t start to turn around until after I MADE THE CHOICE TO. I chose my boyfriend, I love him, I am very happy with him, I am deeply comfortable, but is he the one I want to marry? I don’t know. I’ll just have to wait and see. Fate is just a way of giving up your ability to choose, which is bad. You pick who you want to be with, and giving yourself the illusion that that person was given to you is a dangerous. You can never know one person completely. Sometimes you can get lucky, and other times you can end up in a marriage with someone who wasn’t the same person as they where when you first started dating, and be unhappy. I’ve seen this happen so many times. It’s a choice, end of story.

[Celeste]

imo, take April’s advice!
You are creating much more drama that is not needed! And it could end up breaking up your relationship, which is what this crazy person wants. What this all sounds like is high school drama that did not need to happen. You are right, she is playing mind games, but heres the catch…..you don’t have to play at all! Stop all contact with her, the only goal she has is to break you both up and make your life hell, which is not worth it. Stop talking to her, stop talking to your boyfriend about her, just take April advice and stay out of it. What will happen will happen. The best way to help yourself is to leave it be. You can’t control the situation because the situation has nothing to do with you, so stop interfering and your boyfriend will (or at least should) be able to handle it, because its his problem.

I know high school is drama central, but once you leave it you will realize that NONE of it was worth all the stress. NONE of it matters in the real world, because high school is only a very small step in your life. Once you take the next step you will realize that people who start drama will always lead a life of drama, and you should ask yourself, is that the kind of life you want? To always be at ends with someone? People who start drama don’t have other people around them long because they are not someone who anyone wants around them. Tend to your own business and keep this crazy girl far from you, DON’T talk to her, AT ALL. Just stop. Easy as that. If she tries to get a hold of you, ignore her, if anything it will piss her off more haha!

[Celeste]

It sounds like you are doing the right thing for you! He’s doing what you said, having his cake and eating it too. From the sound of things, the other woman might be a relationship of his, one that he is not committed to since he is trying to get a hold of you, but refuses to take you on a date, so he plans on keeping you on the side while still having this other girl as well. April is right, this guy is not going to change and the road you are on is one that will help you very much, both in keeping you from getting hurt and keeping you out of unnecessary drama. Good on ya! You’re well on your way to moving on and finding someone who will want to commit to YOU, not just keep you on the side.

[Celeste]

Thank you April!

I have not talked to him about any of this yet, I’m trying to see if I can work things out internally first. I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with my significant other lusting after other women, but I know that I can learn to accept that people are not perfect, which I realized is a problem that I have had for a long time. The one thing that always went through my head when I thought of just ending it is that how much of a chance was there that I was even going to find someone who did meet all of my “standards?” And I knew that I wasn’t. While I still don’t know if I want to marry this guy, marriage is a long and distant thought for me right now, I know that I am happy with him and that he makes me happy without him even trying to. You are right, I need to start seeing that people are people, and that if I can’t change myself in dramatic ways, then why should I expect everyone else too?

Thank you, your advice was what I have been looking for a long time!

[Celeste]

Humans are very much social creatures. While not every single human was raised in a way where company is comforting, most people are, and therefore seek out other people to be with. The thing with humans is that even though we are animals, we are more than just animals, so satisfying the basic drive for sex is not going to cut it for most people. Humans are complex creatures with a higher intelligence and emotions, something that is not seen in many other animals. And from those emotions and intelligence we get other needs that have to be filled. Essentially, humans are a hive-minded creature and need others like themselves to be happy, to raise a family and continue the race. So even though, yes we all have a basic instinct for sex, whooptie doo, thats something every living creature that reproduces has, but since we have more than most other creatures, we need more. We have developed to a point where we need people with certain characteristics and personalities to be compatible with in order to get along with and live with.

[Celeste]

I agree with April, just hang in there! Some guys like it when a girl makes the first move, and other are even intimidated by it! The relationship is still young, you have all the time in the world to start kissing, and it will happen! Exposing more of yourself won’t necessarily help. You could just be exposing yourself for more than just a kiss, and it could sent mixed signals to your guy, which can be an awkward situation that could land you doing something you didn’t want to do or didn’t feel ready. You don’t need to expose anything to get him to kiss you. He obviously like you enough to be dating you! Hang tight, the kiss will come!

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