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Dear readers and forum members:

Due to the demands of a new project I must suspend our forum activity. I am so sorry.

I wish you all the very best, always.

April

https://www.aprilmasini.com
Confidentiality is protected, however your post and account cannot be edited or deleted once it has gone live on the forum. No exceptions.

Re: should I end it?

#11
Why not ask her out on a real date so you don't come across as opportunistic? She'll get nice treatment from you, you'll get to know if she wants to date you or not, and you'll both get to know each other better if she says yes. ;)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.

Re: should I end it?

#12
Hello,

A month ago i met a girl and we really hit it off so we went out on a date a few days after that. We spent the whole night together and i spent the night at her place. Afterwards, we just texted like every day for hours and a few days later we went on our second date where we had dinner, drinks and then we walked around the city. The texting continued to be the same until we both left for easter break. The texting sort of fizzled out and she got sick so that was another week we couldn't see each other because she lives with her parents.

She's better now and we're texting again on a daily basis so yesterday i asked her if she wanted to go to a party but she said she couldn't because she missed a few tests while being sick and needed to study to redo them later this week. So i texted her this morning saying that since she's gonna be stuck at home all week studying, that I'd take her out on friday for dinner and go to bar to get drunk and unwind (I said drunk because she texted before she wanted to see what i was like when i got drunk). But she hasn't answered in hours while she usually answers almost right away. Plus I know she's seen my texts (whatsapp and all). So I don't know if she's trying to tell me she's not interested in me anymore and if i should just cut my losses with her.

I really like her because when we're together it's as if we've known each other for years, but now it's like she's bored of me.

Some advice would thus be very helpful :)

thank you

Re: should I end it?

#13
Definitely give her a day or two to respond. She has a busy life and if she responds tomorrow, that doesn't mean she's not interested. It just means that the two of you have had two great dates and she hasn't responded for a request for a third date. ;) Also, if she's really sick -- like if she has the flu -- she may not be up for going out for a few weeks. So, for now, hang back and let her respond in her own time. It's also a way for you to gauge how interested she is. Sometimes people don't respond right away because they're busy. Other times, however, it's because they're not sure they want to go on that date you've asked about. The pause in that case, may be an indication of her interest, so if she doesn't text back in a few days, you might want to realize she's not that interested. Bottom line: Give this all some time and if you don't hear from her tomorrow, wait a week and then try her once more. Ask her how she's feeling and if she's better. If she doesn't respond to that request, either, then move on. ;)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.

Re: should I end it?

#14
Ok, so she answered that she couldn't meet up on friday night because she'd made plans with her parents for dinner and that she was going out with her friends afterwards, which is fair enough. I was pretty glad she answered at least, even though it was almost 24 hours after I'd sent the initial text.

I didn't text her for 2 days after that and just sent her a text to see how her big test was. I sent her a text today (sunday) to see if she wanted to do anything tomorrow since it's a bank holiday but she's taking hours to respond again even though she read my message.

I am honestly starting to think that i should just cut my losses here.

Re: should I end it?

#15
I honestly just feel like sending her something along the lines of that I get the feeling she's being quite hesitant to go on a third date and that the reason might be that I am leaving the country in 2 months and that she might be afraid to continue seeing me. But I want to let her know that I am willing to stay an extra month and that even though I'm moving, I'll only be a 1 hour plane ride away.

Also, you mentioned in another post (because i accidentally posted this in the wrong thread) that calling would be better to set up a date. But I don't know if i should do that if she doesn't respond to my text; doesn't that come across as super needy?

Re: should I end it?

#16
Wait a few days and then give her a call. Be upbeat and let her know you want to see her again! If she's not responsive to your text and to your phone call, then drop it and move on. But definitely try the phone this time. If she does respond, her voice will give you clues about her feelings and vice versa. I think it's too soon to be talking to her about a future together in terms of flying to see each other. If you have a third date then you can mention it without coming on too strong. And if you do mention it on that date, any conversation that follows will be a great way to learn her feelings about your idea of commuting on a one hour plane ride back and forth. She may like the idea, or she may not be up for it, but first you need to get that third date and then bring it up while things are going well on that date. ;)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.