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Girlfriend is TORN between her ex-boyfriend of 9 years and me (her boyfriend for 3 months)

Hi April,

Been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months. Everything was going really well, really fast. We even discussed the future, getting married, having kids, etc. Then, her ex-boyfriend, who she hasn't spoken to in over a year and a half, decides to contact her out of the blue. He tells her he bought a house for them and that he's ready to settle with her now. She broke up with him because he wouldn't settle down, and now after over a year, he is giving her what she wants. She is taking a break from us in order to get her heart and head back in check. She says she needs time to heal, but she is torn in the middle. She has so much history with him, but she says she still loves me and that her heart is confused. My gut is telling me that she may go back to her past just because we've only known each other for 3 months and she's known him for 9 years. I know she does love me, but I don't know what to do.

Do i let her go? Should i just keep waiting? It's currently been a month on the break. I don't know what to do.

Please help!

Re: Girlfriend is TORN between her ex-boyfriend of 9 years and me (her boyfriend for 3 months)

You've only been dating for three months -- which isn't a long time. Usually, I suggest you date someone for three months, while playing the field at the same time, so you can figure out if this is someone you want to continue dating. It sounds like you do want to continue dating her, but she doesn't since she's stopped dating you to get back together with her ex of nine years. If you can compete for her and try to win her over, then you should do that! 8-) You'll have competition, but that just means you need to bring your A game. But.... if she's not interested in seeing you at all, the break is no different from a break up. The reality is that when her ex saw that she was dating you, he may have realized what he'd lost and got his own A game together to win her back. So if you can win her back, do so, but if she won't date you at all, it's best to play the field and see who else is out there for you. :)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.