Please call 310.288.6611 to schedule an interview or consultation with April Masini.


Dear readers and forum members:

Due to the demands of a new project I must suspend our forum activity. I am so sorry.

I wish you all the very best, always.

Confidentiality is protected, however your post and account cannot be edited or deleted once it has gone live on the forum. No exceptions.

Advice needed on somewhat unhappy marriage/ another woman

Married to a girl from philippines for 2 years, known for 5. Marriage is at best, average and very atypical. Met another filipino lady online about 1 year after I met my wife. This other lady, is perfect, never knew woman like her existed. I was financially dependent on parents at the time, k-1 visa application, time, money required to be together, they supported me 100%. I wanted to do this process with the new lady I met, but was afraid to lose support and not be taken seriously. So ended up choosing first lady because of circumstances, NOT because of true love. I regret to this day my decision, but I am afraid to hurt her and to end my marriage and start over, but I know that its what I want. Ive known this other lady for almost 5 years now to, we still communicate, fantasizing about being together. I just dont know how to end my marriage, I am afraid of being alone for atleast a year while I wait for the process to complete again, not to mention for a divorce to complete. I am very emotional for a guy, and I am very weak when it comes to stuff like this. I just want to talk to someone about this and especially get expert advice on the best thing to do. I have a lot of experience with women and relationships, I know more than anything this other woman is the one, and the one I am with now, is not. Even just talking to this other woman is the happiest experience of my life.

Re: Advice needed on somewhat unhappy marriage/ another woman

It's important you have the self awareness to admit weakness, but what you're describing is really selfishness -- not weakness. I know that's probably hard to hear, but it's important that you take responsibility for your actions. What you've done, and what you're doing is taking care of yourself, and hurting your wife. When you marry for circumstances, and aren't honest with that person who married you for love, you've created a difficult situation at best. It sounds like you never fully committed to your wife or worked on the marriage, because you stayed in touch with this other woman during much of the 2 year marriage and now want out of this marriage to be with this other woman. Time to do the right thing and work on your character. ;) Muster up the courage to rip off the bandaid and admit to your wife that you want a divorce. Don't let your own weakness/selfishness keep her in the game for your benefit. Let her go so you can try and live an honest life and she can have the opportunity to find true love.

I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.