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He Put Me Before His Kids

We got into a big argument over what I had gotten him for Christmas, and during the argument he stated that he cut his kid's Christmas short to get me what I wanted? I'm very bothered by that. I feel as a woman I shouldn't be with a man who won't put his kids first. What should I do?

Re: He Put Me Before His Kids

Sounds like you're getting to know him over the course of five months of dating, and this character issue where he puts you, his girlfriend, ahead of his minor children, is a problem for you. It's great that you know your mind and you're able to recognize this issue quickly. Now, you have to decide if it's a deal breaker or a flashing yellow light. If there are other incompatibilities in values that the two of you seem to have, you may find that you're just too different to make this work in the long run. But if this is the only issue, and it's about presents -- not health care or education or paying child support or his mortgage -- you may want to wrap your head around the fact that this is a guy who puts his partner ahead of his children, and that's not always a bad thing as long as there is consistency and the kids get their needs met. When children in divorce situations are spoiled or feel that they can manipulate a situation (like their father and his girlfriend), they've got an unhealthy balance of power. So the fact that the two of you disagree on this issue is less important than the fact that his kids are well cared for. This may just be a difference that you can work through.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.