Re: My Fiance called off our engagement and broke up with me
#2I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. 
It sounds like a few things are going on here. First, you have some control and anger issues that entered into the break up. Second, you have a medicine issue that was a factor. And third, she ran out of patience for the first two issues. Obviously, it's important to take care of yourself before you can be in a relationship with anyone else, and it sounds like you and your physician need to talk about your medication and side effects -- and that's something you can and should do whether you're with her or not. The control and anger issues, as you know, drove her away. She was not only hurt, but embarrassed because you acted out in front of her family.
I think you're letting yourself off the hook a little too easily when you say that your acting out was an attempt to protect her and the relationship, or the environment.I would ask you what it is you were trying to protect her and yourselves from. So try and focus on your behavior and understand that actions have consequences. If you tell her to give you the ring back, you shouldn't be surprised when she does. And also, know that this breakup didn't happen overnight. It happened as a result of a series of relationship dynamics and fights that led to her leaving. You said two blow ups in October, one in November and one in December. That'll do it.
I know you want her back, but this isn't about what you want or don't want. It's about showing her you've changed and that the blow ups are something you've got some control over. Of course, you're going to have to work at this -- and I think you should. Also go see your physician and talk about the medication and side effects, and find a better balance.
I hope that helps.
It sounds like a few things are going on here. First, you have some control and anger issues that entered into the break up. Second, you have a medicine issue that was a factor. And third, she ran out of patience for the first two issues. Obviously, it's important to take care of yourself before you can be in a relationship with anyone else, and it sounds like you and your physician need to talk about your medication and side effects -- and that's something you can and should do whether you're with her or not. The control and anger issues, as you know, drove her away. She was not only hurt, but embarrassed because you acted out in front of her family.
I think you're letting yourself off the hook a little too easily when you say that your acting out was an attempt to protect her and the relationship, or the environment.I would ask you what it is you were trying to protect her and yourselves from. So try and focus on your behavior and understand that actions have consequences. If you tell her to give you the ring back, you shouldn't be surprised when she does. And also, know that this breakup didn't happen overnight. It happened as a result of a series of relationship dynamics and fights that led to her leaving. You said two blow ups in October, one in November and one in December. That'll do it.
I know you want her back, but this isn't about what you want or don't want. It's about showing her you've changed and that the blow ups are something you've got some control over. Of course, you're going to have to work at this -- and I think you should. Also go see your physician and talk about the medication and side effects, and find a better balance.
I hope that helps.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.