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What is he thinking ?

Hi April.
One of the guys I work with and I talk a lot via text in the evenings about sex and he tells me he'd like to sleep with me . We flirt a lot and send saucy photos to each other. At work though we are professional and don't talk about it at all. He doesn't flirt with me and we act as close friends. He doesn'the ask me on dates or try and touch me . Several times I have tried to get him to open up and tell me what exactly it is he wants from us but he always shuts down and refuses to answer the question. I am now so confused by his behaviour I don't know what to do. Please help. Tracy

Re: What is he thinking ?

He's actually being very straight forward. It's just not what you were hoping for. :? His behavior indicates that he wants a professional relationship at work, and a sexual relationship without dating, outside of work. You're confused because you're thinking there must be some middle ground -- like dating, getting to know each other, flirting at work -- but there isn't for him. Nope! He wants sex outside of work, without a traditional, romantic relationship. And that's it.

As for what you should do, it's up to you. If you want a sexy fling, he's ready and willing. If you're looking for a romantic, dating relationship that's traditional, he's not your guy. When you try to get him to open up, and he shuts down, it's because he doesn't want to open up. That's his way of letting you know, he's not into romance and dating. I wish I could tell you more, but this one is pretty simple. What you see is what you get.

Hope that helps!
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.