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Dear readers and forum members:

Thank you so much for the Ask April Relationship Advice Forum. What a warm and welcoming community!

Due to the demands of launching my new company, AIFI (American Initiative for Film Industry Research Institute & Development Council), I'm so sorry to say that I must suspend forum activity.

I wish you all the very best, always.

April
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Finding someone

#1
I've been divorced for a few years. Trying to get back into the dating scene and find someone but everyone I want don't seem to want me and everyone who wants me, I don't want. I like and was married to someone younger, 7 to ten years. I'm a young looking 56 and don't want what I perceive is an old woman. Maybe I'm too fussy, but I can't settle. Suggestions? Thanks

Re: Finding someone

#2
It's tough getting back into the dating game after being divorced, but it helps to remember that this is a process. Relax into it. Don't stress. If you can balance a focus on the goal, with patience and understanding that you're on a learning curve, you'll be fine -- and you'll even enjoy yourself! Dating is a numbers game. You have to play the numbers and put yourself out there, which is much easier to do if you understand the process. Hone down what you want as well as what you offer someone. When you're not sure what you want, you'll end dating to figure it out. When you have a better idea what you want and what you offer, you better target successful relationship partners. I think the age range you're looking for is fine -- now, figure out, a little further, what else you want besides that age range. Someone with kids, without kids, career woman, stay at home partner, type lifestyle, background, money profile, etc. You'll get good at being able to filter out while you hone in and will spend less time on first dates and more time dating smart. ;)

If you feel that you're getting rejected, try to understand why -- don't impulsive write it off as a bad match. Of course, not everyone is going to be your cup of tea -- and vice verse -- but you have to know your audience and play to your strengths. For instance, look for women who want to date someone your age, with your assets -- don't ignore what they're looking for and waste your time. Check yourself, as well. Are you coming off as needy to replace your ex-wife? Or are you at peace with yourself, and hoping to find a life partner without desperation or frustration? When you've got your act together, you're more likely to attract others with those qualities.

I hope that helps!
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.
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