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Dear readers and forum members:

Thank you so much for the Ask April Relationship Advice Forum. What a warm and welcoming community!

Due to the demands of launching my new company, AIFI (American Initiative for Film Industry Research Institute & Development Council), I'm so sorry to say that I must suspend forum activity.

I wish you all the very best, always.

April
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Please help.

#1
Will my deceased boyfriends parents and family leak my nudes?
He passed away four months ago, he was my world and now I am tensed about my nudes being on his phone. His death was tragic, medical negligence led to his heart attack worsening and the doctors didn't provide timely relief even though he was brought in within ten minutes. He was only 27 years old. His family was cordial with me during the funeral but after that they have refused to keep ties with me. Their behavior towards me is making me doubt their intentions. Within a month of his death, they went to his facebook and deleted all our pictures that he had once uploaded. It feels like they're desperately trying to get rid of me. He told them he won't marry anyone other than me. That seemed to upset them.
They have refused to delete any sensitive data from his phone even after I begged them. They have full access to his phone, they had told him he would be disowned if he continued our relationship. They made it clear to him that I will not be accepted in the family. They didn't t have a close relationship with him, he was their oldest son but they were biased towards him and he was very upset with their treatment of him and his little brother too wasn't close to him. He was still studying and financially dependent on them.
I tried reaching out to them but they've made it clear that they do not wish to talk to me. I
I am scared all the time that they'll leak my nudes just to get back at me because they disliked me. I trusted him with my nudes but now that he's gone I don't know what will happen.

Re: Please help.

#2
I'm so sorry about the death of your boyfriend. :oops: It's a shame that his parents can't connect with you in a positive way, even now. But since you've tried, and failed, it's time to just be frank with them. Write them a letter and explain that you are devastated over the loss of your boyfriend, but you are also very concerned that they have photos of you on his phone that were meant for his eyes only, and that it's crucial that they're returned to you and deleted without being copied so that no one else ever sees them because that would devastate you. Tell them you'd be very grateful for their cooperation, and request that they please confirm the photos are deleted. You have to say exactly what it is you want from them -- you can't play coy at this point. Hopefully, they'll respond and do as you ask.

However, if you don't hear from them, then you should consult an attorney because this is really about your privacy and making sure nude photos that belonged to him, don't get blasted on the internet. There's also some question over who owns the photos -- and whether or not your boyfriend had a will, and if you were named in that will in any way. So, try and be graceful and direct with his parents, but if you don't hear back from them, then I think you need to consult an attorney because if they won't cooperate, this becomes a legal relationship -- not just your strained relationship with the parents of your deceased boyfriend.

I hope that helps.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.
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