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Do I go ahead with the wedding?

We have common interests & values towards life, but have different personalities. I avoid conflicts and am very patient, My bf is a very caring guy but is impatient and gets angry for stupid things. He is too sensitive, and due to his friends bullying him in college in the past, has tough time hanging out in groups. Also, he hates working under supervisors at work. He had conflicts with bosses at workplaces and does not make a great sub-ordinate due to his nature. We worked at the same place for 2 years and I have seen him getting into conflicts with bosses. Though he is extremely smart, his nature never made him successful at workplaces. Our approach to careers are totally different and I do not know if he will ever be successful. But, he is also someone who is very determined and does things very well if he believes in it.

He is very understanding with me, has always given importance to what i say, and has supported me through tough times. He also listens to me and gives me lot of attention. But, his nature of impatience & complaining gets to me. He underwent health issues over the last one year, which made him stressed out at work and personally, and I was very supportive throughout. But his nature drained me in the process and now I am scared if he would always be like this. Also, sometimes he is over protective about me and that bugs me as well. I somewhere feel hesitant to marry him because of these personality differences. Also, I do not like his parents that much as they seem very stringy and financially dependent on him (though they have savings).

Re: Do I go ahead with the wedding?

You're 31, he's 32 and you've dated for three years. If you are not sure about a wedding that is scheduled to take place next month, then you should postpone it. Time may help you feel more confident about marrying or not marrying. However, with a request for postponement, he may feel that if you are not ready after dating him for three years, then the two of you are just not a match, and and he may want to move on. He may feel that he's shown you who he is, as have you, him, and if you still have doubts, then he would like to move on and find someone who doesn't. If you are okay with that -- or even relieved by that thought -- then chances are, this isn't a good match for you. But if you worry about losing him, then you may just have pre-wedding jitters.

His being stressed out over health issues is normal. That it drained you requires you to develop boundaries within the relationship. ;) His impatience and quick fuse aren't out of the realm of normal -- and you also describe him as caring. You say he's smart but suffers some social issues that have kept him from getting ahead -- maybe you can help him with this, or accept it. And his parents would not be the first set of in-laws that prove to be a challenge for a new couple, if you and he marry.

You haven't mentioned anything about him that is a red flag -- but the fact that you have mentioned all of this makes it sounds like you have doubts about marrying him because either he's not "the one" for you and there is someone better suited to you still out there, or, perhaps you're not ready to be married and settled with all the compromise that marriage requires of people with foibles. People marry for all sorts of reasons, and what you describe in your fiancee may be fine for someone else, but a series of deal breakers for you. You have to decide if you are ready to be married and if so, if he's the someone you want to be married to! Feeling trapped is awful, so use these next few weeks to try and figure out if you want to postpone the wedding, call it off, or nurture yourself through cold feet. :)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.