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Why has he cut me out and what did he really want with me?

#1
I've been seeing a guy for a few months now (November 2016)&3 months ago he said we should take it to the next level&said we should 'start dating and see how things go'.After a while he would hardly text me which i didn't like&would tell me that's just the way he is&that he prefers seeing me in person etc. After I found his tinder account&he Instagram DM'd a girl I knew, he didn't really have much to say about it or seemed that he cared, but still spoke to me. About 1 month ago he stopped slowly asking to see me, however we would still remain in contact and speak,but I could tell he was pulling away. 1 day he said he'd come visit me,&a couple days later he stopped replying to me.A week later I texted him asking for a bag back, but it took him days to reply.A couple weeks later I asked him for some clarification on what's happened between us, he didn't reply.The other day he did ask if I wanted the bag I left at his house back since I've been asking for a while, but we haven't spoken since. I just really want to know what made him change?Why he gradually but suddenly cut me out? Could he have been lying about saying he liked me,wanted to date & see me as a girlfriend, (even told his friend he sees me as a gf soon)?I just feel so confused,I know he wants nothing to do with me&made that v clear,but I just want to know why.He ticked all the boxes for me otherwise, so I would see myself with him in the future,is there any way that we could potentially reconnect in the future when he is ready&out of this player phase?

Re: Why has he cut me out and what did he really want with me?

#2
When a guy stops showing interest, it's either because he doesn't like you as much as he first did or because he's met someone else he likes better. Either way, it's tough for a 20 year old, like this guy you've been dating, or a guy at any age, to tell you why he's rejected you. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and even though he has, he doesn't want to see your hurt. He just wants to move, and he'd prefer you be okay with it all. Of course, that doesn't mean you have to!

I know it's disappointing to be rejected, but dating is a way to get to know people, and when you do get to know each other, you find out about them -- and yourself, and yourself with them. You may not like everything you learn and you may see incompatibilities that make you want to move on. It could be that one of you wants more than the other, one of you isn't that fun or lives too far away, or simply because one of you isn't as interesting as someone new you've met. Because he's not being frank with you about why he's moving on, you'll probably never know the exact reason. But the reality is, he's moving on, and you've only been dating him since November -- so there was always a chance something like this would happen. I usually recommend that you use the first six months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous -- and if you use that rule, you'll understand that this kind of thing may happen, so you're not so hurt.

I hope that helps.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.
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