.Checking in again because everything must be perfect. I found a number online but I dont know if this is even her current one. It was listed for her last apartment but it seems shes in a new one... Sometimes people keep the same landline # but I dont know. We don't have any mutual friends, so that route wouldnt work. I know of them but they would easily side with her and ignore me
So, (correct me if im wrong) If i reach her I will do my best to sound upbeat. I wil say hi its (my name)... ill tell her I looked her up, and am glad I reached her. Wondering how you are...what do you do for work nowadays.... and invite her to dinner if shes around friday. I'll keep it short too.
Question: I sent the last mail thursday. When should I 'call' her?
In terms of getting her phone number, it sounds like you've got a lead! Awesome!! As I mentioned before, you can also try her work phone. That should be easy to get -- and if she's moved jobs, often, a receptionist or assistant will tell you where she went, so you can reach her there. Once you do reach her, bring your A game! Turn on the charm. You've got to win her over, so striking a conversation that sounds like everything is normal, when it isn't, is going to make her feel that you're either out of touch or insensitive to all that's transpired for her. You've tried to reach out on social media, you've emailed her a song you wrote and now you're picking up the phone to give it one last try. Put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine why she hasn't reacted to your last two tries. If you can figure that out, then you can adjust this third shot to show her that you're not just showing up and trying to pick up where "normal" left off, but that you're understanding of why the break up happened, why she hasn't responded, and how you're changing your life to accommodate a try at getting her back.... you'll do better than if you just make "normal" small talk.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.