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I'm in a dilemma and I have no idea what to do now. HELP

#1
I'm in a complicated situation... I'm dating a guy for 10 months but lately I started noticing things that made me question our relationship.

We never had a fight! It's unnatural to me because where i come from, arguments are necessary for a healthy relationship. I try to pick up a fight but he's always avoiding it. It drives me insane! He's always under control and "Mr. Perfect" around me and my parents but that's not what i want. I want to get to know the entire man I'm dating and not just the good sides in him. I want to know the side he's trying so hard to keep away from me. I told him that, i talk to him but it's hard to read him. Mostly he says that i'm right and it's a good that we talked but there it ends. Sometimes it looks like he's trying when i talk to him about us but it's not enough for me. Something's missing. The love and excitement that was at the beginning partly turned to a daily routine.

I love him. he's important to me. The thought of breaking up with him really scares me; I don't want to break his heart and hurt myself, but sometimes i think that i'll feel a bit re-leafed if we'll break up. I just don't know what to do. I hate myself for thinking about breaking up with a man who adores me but... doesn't share too much with me. Should i talk to him?
Plus, we're not seeing each other everyday of the week but we talk on Whatsapp every single day so our conversations are the same lately. It's annoying. I guess i'm a bit bored maybe?

A big part of me wants to stay with him but i'm really confused! Help me!

Re: I'm in a dilemma and I have no idea what to do now. HELP

#2
Not everybody has the same level of intensity or the same time clock. It sounds like you want him to be as intense or as deep as you are when you are, and either he's just not as interested as going there as you are, or he doesn't have that level of intensity like you do, or he simply isn't in a place in the relationship where he is inclined to do so, while you are. It also may simply be that you're looking to him to fulfill all your needs and if you looked to others for those intense conversations you want to have with him, and instead, simply accepted him as someone who isn't that deep or doesn't want to have those conversations with you, you could make it work.

Whatever it is, the ball's in your court and it's going to be more productive for you to make changes, than it is for you to hope he will. In other words, if you can look to friends and family to fulfill some of the needs that you're currently hoping he will, you may be okay continuing to date him. Or if you can hang in there because this is who he is and that's enough for you -- or because you understand that he may reveal more of himself in another year than he has now (especially since he's only 19), then you should. But.... if you're so bored and frustrated with the relationship that you become cranky and negative, then let it go. Really nice people aren't always compatible people. You're someone who's looking for more and unless you can hang back and let him be who he is, you should find someone who's more intense and passionate.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.
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