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Dear readers and forum members:

Thank you so much for the Ask April Relationship Advice Forum. What a warm and welcoming community!

Due to the demands of launching my new company, AIFI (American Initiative for Film Industry Research Institute & Development Council), I'm so sorry to say that I must suspend forum activity.

I wish you all the very best, always.

April
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Love

#1
Me + my boyfriend are planning a future + want to move out right when I turn 18 cause our parents don't like our relationship his mom has called me bad names acts all nice + says she likes us in person + there's no issue when we are all together for a family event either houses. His dad likes me no issue . My parents like him they say my mom complains about his mom cause they don't get along ends up my boyfriend never wants to come over cause what my mom says my both always tell me to break up with him ends up we always hang out at his house + my parents get mad cause he doesn't want to go to my house + I'm getting tired of going to his house. Both of us are always happy and all good when we hang out alone like in public or at his house alone once we hit family topic + be with family its all hell loose break so that's why we want I to move in with him everything is good when we are together alone he's already given me a promise ring weve already bought stuff for our own apartment + both talk about our future +what we want in our lives and agree not usual for a young guy to talk about a future he's told me he wants to marry me when we get older we both want to me 2 move in with when I turn 18 he will already have an apartment in a couple month's September + it would be like 3 months December when I turn 18. Weve planned it but are scared to tell parents. But for sure we want to do this I need advice would it help our relationship + change things for our parents to acutally see that we do love each other

Re: Love

#2
Take one step at a time. It sounds like you have a loving, committed relationship, but you're still living at home and your parents aren't supportive all the time. Since you want to move out at age 18 to avoid the parental conflict, why not take an interim step: Get jobs and move out so you can support yourselves living separately, or with roommates, but not together just yet. This step will help you avoid a rushed romantic move. It gives you the opportunity to solve your problem, but not rush into a living together. While you're working and living independently from your parents, you can date and see what it's like to live adult lives with responsibilities and forge a mature relationship with each other beyond what you have. It'll be a mature, building block towards something bigger. If things go well for six to twelve months of dating, while living on your own, then consider moving in together. I know you're upset about his mother's feelings about you, but you wouldn't be the first girlfriend or wife who had mother in law issues. ;) Breathe. Find your sense of humor and take the high road, and if you do move out, try living with girlfriends who are roommates for the first year away from your parents. It'll build independence and it's nice to have the support of good roommates and friends for problems with family -- and romantic relationships. :)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.
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