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Long term friendzone? How can I re-establish a relationship/connection with her?

#1
Are you male or female:
Male

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Female

What is your age:
I am 25 now (21 when we met)

What are the ages of the other people involved:
She is 28 now (24 when we met)

What is your relationship status:
Single

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
Single

How long have the two of you been together:
I have known her since September 2013

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
Yes

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Due to living in different countries we have only seen each other once in 2 years

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Does not apply

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
Does not apply

What country do you live in:
I live in the UK, she is from America but lives in Ireland from start 2017 until end 2018

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Does not apply

Sept'13 I met a girl.She was in UK from America to live for a bit.Became close & kissed on 3 occasions.I was 21,inexperienced at dating,didn't make intentions clear,missed chance.Told her how I felt 6 months in,she said timing isn't right & we should stay friends & have fun friendship for now but "if it's meant to happen in the future it will".She went home to America end'14.Then until start of '17 we remained very close & although we were in different countries there still felt to be a 'spark' when txting & Skyping.I helped her in tough times,even went to visit her start of '15 & sent bday & xmas gifts.2017 she moved to Ireland for 2yrs.I thought we would pick up where we left off but relationship has taken nosedive.She never initiates communication & when we talk vibe is different,short answers,no questions,less emoticons,feel like the 'spark' is gone & lost interest.Met up 1 day in June as she was in the UK,I tried to make conversations fun but I was just getting flat vibe.She was mid breakup with guy she was seeing in Ireland for 2 months.Her background.No LTR for 10yrs (at 18 dated a guy for a yr).Since then,dated a few guys but nothing ever comes of it.Admitted to me she is quite prude & "gets bored of guys".Despite others 'failing',always been me she comes back to for that spark & flirty chat, made me think I had a chance.Always been in my mind I will be the one in the end that wins,we had a great friendship that felt it could be built on.Now feels that bridge from friend to potentially more is broken.How do I go about fixing this? I know the worst thing to do is appear desperate & needy.Guess I am in a long term friendzone & she lost interest? Should I visit her in Ireland (I'd be staying with her)? How often should I text her? I want to be able to maintain a fun relationship with her like before where I feel I have a chance in the future if the opportunity arose.Just now,I feel the spark is gone,even the friendship spark.I used to feel I was special to her,now I feel I mean as much as any other guy.How can I lay the groundwork now & bide my time for a shot with her in future?

Re: Long term friendzone? How can I re-establish a relationship/connection with her?

#2
If you want to win her over, and do things differently -- then you have to do exactly that. The same old, same old is just going to land you right where you are now, on the perimeter of the friend zone. While there may have been a spark once, the romance is faded and that's what you have to go for. Since she's in Ireland and you're in the UK, you're not really that far away. Make the relationship a priority - not something you do when it's convenient. Make a play to see her regularly -- several times a month. And be attractive, sexy, successful and flirtatious when you're with her. Be who she wants. Be the guy she's proud to be seen with and wants to show off!

You should start by going to her, and if that goes well, invite her to come to the UK to see you. Dial up the sexy flirting, attention, and romance -- and be the prince who sweeps her off her feet. Forget anything that is "friendly" and go for flirtatious, sexy "boyfriend material". Take charge, romantically. It's definitely a balancing act, but you can do it! And while there's always a risk of rejection when you put yourself out there, away from the safety of the friend zone, unless you do take the risk, you'll never know if you could have won, and you should play to win. When you do see her -- flirt with her, compliment her appearance, hold hands, kiss, make out -- be a hot boyfriend, not just a sympathetic ear. Bring her flowers, take her special places and be interested in her and what's going on in her life, while at the same time, showing her what could be hers if she'll date you. You have to make her want you, and not just show up as a friend. 8-) This friendly dynamic has been going on for years, and now that you're 25 and she's 28, and it's important you don't lose her to missed opportunities. Seize the day and relinquish the friend zone. Send her flowers and make plans to see her today. ;)
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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