I started talking to a friend I recently connected with, it was going good until New Years Eve. I went to his party and I blacked out drunk. According to him and others I was talking about him nobody said if it was good or bad. However it made them uncomfortable and caused drama. The day after I text him and apologize and this was his response, "I’m not mad or holding a grudge or anything but that was for sure more drama than I care to deal with. Thank you for the apology though. "
Obviously right now I am to embarrassed to even talk to him even as friends. However, have I ruined any chances in the far future by this incident?
#2April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.
You haven't ruined your chances for the long run, but the short run needs to be all about damage control. The object of your affection made it clear that he's not into drama, and your passing out drunk at a party was distasteful to him. So, the first thing you need to do is check yourself. Was this a one time thing, or do you think you may have a drinking problem? Getting buzzed or tipsy is one thing, but passing out is a big deal, so if you need help, get it. If you don't have a problem or need help, consider the reasons for your drama this guy is concerned about. What caused you to get that drunk? In addition, ask yourself if you have other drama in your life beyond drinking. If you do, and you want to get rid of it, you have some personal work to do. If not, then what will help this guy see that you're not all drama, all the time, is experiences with you where things go smoothly. This takes time and requires you to both be at the same parties at the same time, or at the same events at the same time.... show him your work out ethic, or your fitness streak -- which will hopefully offset that drinking episode. Show him your clean eating and other lifestyle assets you possess that indicate you're not about drama -- you're about peace and peaceful living. You can invite him to jogging or hiking with you. You can talk to him about other healthy things you're doing in your life -- without indicating too boldly, so it doesn't look like you're trying too hard. And you have to be patient. This isn't "fix" won't happen over night. It'll take some time. I hope that helps!