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[RUSH!] Love Triangle

I went out drinking with friends. Robert and I have been flirting since we met a couple months ago, but we aren’t dating yet. The others started fighting so Robert and I went and talked for hours and he ended up kissing me. that’s all we did.

When we came back to the group, Betty wanted to talk to Robert, but she ended up talking with me first.

She asked me what Robert and I had done, and I told her we just kissed. She told me that she had feelings for Robert (even though she’s been dating Doug for over a year) and that she and Robert hooked up once, before she and Doug got together. She said she thought of Robert as her yardstick to compare other men, including Doug, and that Robert was her safety net or backup plan. She said that Robert and I dating was weird for her. She cried and seemed broken hearted.

Robert joined Betty and I a bit later and Betty told Robert that she still wanted to talk to him. She left to grab another drink. Robert asked me what I thought Betty wanted to talk to him about. I was confused, and hurt, and just decided to be honest. I told Robert that Betty has feelings for him and that she’s not OK with us being together. I told him that I knew he and Betty had hooked up in the past.

I figured he should have all the information and know what I know. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

Before Betty came back He said that Doug was one of his best friends, and that Betty was one of his best girl friends.

I left Robert and Betty to talk and went home.

The next day I heard from Betty. she had gotten blackout drunk. She didn’t remember what she and Robert talked about, and I didn’t tell her what I shared with Robert. Apparently after Robert and Betty talked, Betty passed out and Robert called one of the other guys to get her back to the apartment. Robert left right after that.

To make things more complicated, we’re all traveling with a group of 12 friends to Las Vegas this weekend.

I still like Robert, but I haven’t really heard from him since the weekend.

Do I need to try to talk to Robert about this? Do you think Robert is mad at me for what I shared? Is there still a chance for Robert and I?

Re: [RUSH!] Love Triangle

There's a lot of "junk" going on here and the best thing you can do is rise above it. Try not to engage Betty and Doug. In fact, keep a civilized distance. They've got drama written all over them. And if Betty tries to engage you in conversation to suss out what you and Robert have done or are doing, just smile and remember that you have a phone call to make! Same thing goes if she tries to talk to you about her feelings for Robert. Suddenly remember that you promised to take your mother out to buy a hat. In other words, politely disengage. Don't worry if it's awkward -- awkward is better than a drama swamp. There's nothing good that's going to come from someone who tries to block your romance, when she's already seriously dating someone else and blacks out drunk. Next! As for Robert, don't engage him in any more conversation about Betty or Doug. If he brings something up, take the high road. If he doesn't, don't stoop and gossip. This is all a great opportunity for you to practice being your higher self!

I do think there is still a chance for you and Robert, but only if you don't get into drama with his friends. Enjoy the Vegas trip and steer clear of Betty and Doug. Flirt with Robert and do your best to keep your distance from his friends within the group. Since there are 12 of you, and Vegas is a place to easily be social, do so!! And if he's swayed by anything Betty and Doug have said about you, then you've dodged a bullet. Getting to know someone's friends is an important step in getting to know them and their choices. So proceed, but with caution! I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.