I a great guy a year ago, we hit it off, we had great chemistry, texting all the time, talking on the phone, had really fun dates. I was just out of Ltr relationship and wanted to go slow, but after four months he needed a break. He had stress with work and felt I needed more time before I could be in a serious relationship again.
We didn’t talk for a few months and started communication in November. We did meet up for one a drink and it went fine, then a few weeks later dinner and at the end he kissed me. For December and January we would hang out occasionally and each time we would kiss. At the beginning of February he said he wanted to try again.
Things started good and seemed to be going well, but a month ago he started to pull back a bit. He said he was frustrated that his feelings were at the same place mine where, that he felt pressured to be there and it was overwhelming. When we restarted I still had a lot of feelings for him and he was sort of starting over. He decided a week ago that it wasn’t working for him and he needed a break.
We decided to not talk for a month and then see what happens. I feel he has feelings for me still and some separation would allow the feelings of frustration, pressure and being overwhelmed to pass. We talked if we do start again it would be from the beginning, we would communicate better. I’m wondering if we can start again or is it better for me to move on. I still really like him and would want to make something work. But I’m not sure what to do next.
I think you should move on. This guy isn't interested in you enough to make a commitment. It's great that you had chemistry and liked each other, but after four months of dating, he wasn't interested in more. That's the moment when you could have known that he's not your Mister Right and moved on. But, since then it's been off and on with breaks and separations and no real commitment or excitement about your being together. It's almost as if this relationship never really took off. Normally, when you start dating someone, after three months, you've both decided whether or not you want to continue dating each other. If you both do, then after six months, you decide if you want this to be monogamous. It doesn't seem like either of those relationship goals have arrived with a thumbs up, so that's why I think you should move on. It's great to have feelings and chemistry -- but if you want a commitment, there has to be more. There has to be a mutual commitment to the relationship, to monogamy and to a future together with some shared goals. You can do better with someone else -- but that requires letting go and moving on. I hope that helps!
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.